My Letter To God

My Letter To God

Dear Father,
How was Your day today? Was it filled with joy, laughter,
and praise? Or were Your eyes filled with tears as You
looked down upon Your children and saw what they had
done with the home You created for them, and from what they
have become? I know Your heart must ache and break when  You see how sinful this world has become.

For me, I know I have caused You heartache over the years. I have not stayed on the narrow path and walked by Your side like I should. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and most of them are due to the fact I did not come to You first to ask for Your guidance, I just acted on impulse. My impulse has caused me years of pain and sorrow. My heart sometimes aches for my own children because of some of the choices I have made. I feel I could have been a better mom by making different decisions and going down a different path. Many many times I have felt worthless and useless. I have wondered why I chose to exist any longer if all I could do was fail.

Since I was 16, I searched out love. I guess this is why I got married at such a young age of 17. When that failed, I searched out love again. I thought I had found the unconditional love I was searching for 2 times. Well, it is 29 years later and I am alone. All I ever wanted was for a man to love me and respect me for who I am and he would get that in return. It seemed like I put 100% into the relationship and I would be lucky after a period of time to get 40% of that in return. When it failed, I always just walked away not quite the same person I was when I entered into it.  Now, my kids are doing ok. My oldest Mike, as you know, has a wonderful family of his own and he has finally grown up enough to stick with a job and is doing well. Mark, who just turned 27, is living on his own and is doing great. Linda, well, I have put her in Your care because I could not do anything more with her, and she needs Your guidance. But I still talk to her and father you know i love her so much

I know you will help her find her way back to you

Father touch her heart and soul.

I am sorry for not realizing I have always had that unconditional love, from You. When You should have turned Your back on me and given up, You just stood back and waited for me to get done screwing up my life, and come back to You. I have felt so ashamed coming back to You over and over again after my life turns to dirt. But the loving Father you are, You always have Your arms outstretched for me. You feel my soul and heart with warmth to let me know You are with me. I am so sorry if I have caused you grief and sorrow. I feel each time one of Your children messes up, You are being sacrificed all over again. With You Father, a lot of times I have given the 40% love and respect to You, but You've always given me the 100% love in return, even after my failures.

Most of the time we are so wound up in our lives and what is going on around us, we forget that You are there right beside us, seeing us through it all. You never leave our side. Life at times can seem so cold, dark, and unforgiving. But we have to remember You are right there with us during those dark times as well as in the good times. We forget that, and that is when we go into despair, and feel all is lost. We feel we are alone, and no one cares if we live or die. Oh, Father, I know You care if your children live or die. You may not agree or approve of what Your children do, but You still love them. You cannot promise everyone will go to heaven. You are a good and fair God, but You also expect Your children to obey Your commandments and do what is right. Like Your Word says, You did not make hell for us, but for Satan and his angels. It is our choice if we go there. In Your Word, You tells us how to make heaven our home. If we choose to take bits and pieces of Your Word to conform to how we want to live our life, to make it feel "right" to us, resulting in a eternal life in hell, that is our fault.

Satan is working overtime to put a veil over Your children's eyes, keeping them from seeing that what they doing with their life is going to send them to hell. I do not judge people, that is for You to do, but I know what Your Word says, and I know what is right and wrong, and we as Christians have a responsibility to let people we come across know what it says in Your Word. If they choose to turn their backs to it, there is nothing more we can do. I pray I can be a testimony for You, to others. I pray Your children open their eyes and see what is going on in the world around them, seeing the signs of your soon Coming.

I want to thank you heavenly Father for never deserting me. I want to thank You for always being there for me no matter what I have done. I know I have tried Your patience time and time again. I know what a loving Father You are. I know when I am on my knees before You, I can feel the peace wash over my soul. I thank you for my parents and my family.  I have put my entire life into Your hands. I am no longer going to try to live life on my own without You. It has taken me many years to finally come to the conclusion, I CANNOT live life without You guiding me and holding my hand. I don't want to live life any longer without You holding my hand.
I thank You for dying on the cross for me. I thank You for rising on the third day. I thank you for Your mercy and grace. I thank You for being alive now in my life.

My purpose in life now is to make heaven my home. I long to see Your face dear Jesus. I long for home. I long to be with You, praising You, for eternity.

Thank You for forgiving me of my sins.

I love you with all of my heart and soul.

Love,
Your Child