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Enjoy the Golden Rules!!

If you can not convince them , confuse them!

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

When there is a will, I want to be in it.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of its students.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

If you lend someone £20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

We are born naked, wet and hungry.  Then things get worse.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.

The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

Tax Man.: We have got what it takes to take what you have got!

 

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