Stop Worrying

P K Kothari wants to keep up with you on Twitter

2009-06-20T06:22:00.001-07:00

P K Kothari wants to keep up with you on Twitter

To find out more about Twitter visit http://twitter.com/i/68acd09dc5db1e5dbbcc44f838e4b08b4a8642e9

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— The Twitter Team

About Twitter

Twitter is a unique approach to communication and networking based on the simple concept of status. What are you doing? What are your friends doing—right now? With Twitter, you may answer this question over SMS or the Web and the responses are shared between contacts.

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P K Kothari wants to keep up with you on Twitter

2009-06-20T06:20:00.001-07:00

P K Kothari wants to keep up with you on Twitter

To find out more about Twitter visit http://twitter.com/i/01b690273e5eeeeafe64f8f14138ab3e17a93ab4

Thanks,
— The Twitter Team

About Twitter

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P K Kothari wants to keep up with you on Twitter

2009-06-20T06:05:00.001-07:00

P K Kothari wants to keep up with you on Twitter

To find out more about Twitter visit http://twitter.com/i/4cb4f074b7b90ff80907609b1a6a406233e868ce

Thanks,
— The Twitter Team

About Twitter

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Imperfections

2008-12-28T09:21:00.001-08:00

No matter how much planning and preparation you do, something will not turn out the way you wanted it to be. Yet even when those inevitable disappointments do indeed come, you can adapt and make the very most of them.

Life is not perfect and yet it can be perfectly wonderful. It's great to aim for perfection, and even better to achieve excellence in spite of the imperfections you encounter. When people and situations refuse to cooperate, you can be amazingly adaptable. You can move toward excellence even in the most distressing, imperfect scenarios.

Though what you have is not perfect, you can work with it. Accept what you have, imperfections and all, with gratitude and enthusiasm. Don't spend your time waiting for the perfect situation, something which is not very likely
to come. Go ahead with life as it is, with the bumps and the pitfalls, and give your best to every moment.

The Lovely Ten

2008-12-25T01:08:00.000-08:00

Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark...

ONE: Don't miss the boat.

TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat.

THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.

FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

SIX: Build your future on high ground.

SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.

EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the
cheetahs.

NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.

TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

The top ways to beat the stress over the weekend.

2008-12-10T08:45:00.001-08:00

The top ways to beat the stress over the weekend.

When is the last time you decided to be selfish and decided to be a slave to ‘Me first, others later’ ideology? With the stress levels shooting heights, we put together ten top ways to beat the stress over the weekend.

Aromatherapy. Before you go, that-isnt-for-me, then we recommend just-do-it-once-in-your-life. Jennifer Aniston and Jude Law swear by it. What is it? Aromatherapy is an umbrella term that applies to any healing process involving the use of essential oils. The classic relaxing oil is lavender. Others associated with de-stressing are chamomile, bergamot, patchouli and sandalwood.

Accupuncture

Acupuncture is based on the Chinese philosophy that the body's energy, the qi, made up of yin and yang, flows under the skin. If yin or yang is more dominant, qi reserves dip and you become ill. An acupuncturist will discuss your general health to identify unbalanced areas of qi.

He or she will then insert fine needles into "energy channels" in the body to restore its natural balance. Oprah Winfrey and Sandra Bullock swear by this method of de-stressing.

Hot stone massage therapy

It is the application of heated and cooled stones to certain parts of the body. During hot stone therapy, treated volcanic stones, usually basalt or basinite, are heated in water, using temperatures ranging from 120-130F, and placed along the spine. Cooled marble stones are also used. Often the stones are coated in aromatherapy oils. As well as along the spine, some stones are placed in the palms and in between the toes. Hot stone therapists believe that the combination of warm and cold encourages the body to relax.

Reflexology

Seemingly, Prince Charles swears by this method of de stressing. Reflexology uses the manipulation of pressure points, usually on the feet but sometimes on the hands and ears, to relieve ailments elsewhere in the body.

Reiki

Before you shrug off this de-stressing technique, do remember that Nicole Kidman and Meg Ryan believe in this form of de stressing. Reiki, roughly translated from Japanese as "universal life energy" is a practice started by a Buddhist called Mikao Usui in 1922. Reiki practitioners heal their patients by transferring energy to the patient through the palms.

Qigong

Invented by Taoist monks 3000 years ago, qigong is related to Tai Chi and Vedic meditation. It is based on the same principles as reiki and shiatsu: that of "qi", "energy" flows and pathways.

With qi meaning "air" and "gong" meaning exercise, qigong is based on slow body movements that are co-ordinated with the breathing, encouraging energy to flow down the "right" pathways of the body.

Ka Huna, a little known form of massage is great for beating stress. Once practiced in ancient Hawaiian temples as a means of restoring harmony to mind, body and soul, it is now commonly practiced everywhere. Once you try this gentler version of massage, you will emerge more relaxed and with your limbs intact!

Get Sunlight and Wide Open Space

Think about the average office. It is a stress breeding ground. When you spend a lot of the day indoors dealing with the daily grind you lose a lot of perspective. A stressful event seems like the end of the world and you spend the rest of the day (or week!) brooding and thinking about it over and over again. It is like there is nothing else going on in the world.

When you feel like your whole world is becoming engulfed in stress and anxiety one of the simplest things you can do is go outside in the sun in a wide-open space. The effect is wonderfully relaxing. Try it!

A few years ago I discovered how much classical music could help my stress levels. Infact, findings have stated that classical music have a soothing effect on our frayed nerves.

And of course, the last bit is just relax and learn to let go. A lot of us are addicted to stress. I know that sounds a little silly but in many cases it is true. And to make matters worse we go over things again and again in our head. We think that if we think about "why" we are stressed we will come to some lasting solution but in actual fact it just makes it worse. Ironic, isn’t it.

Switch on to classical Music

In these times it is really handy to know the mantra "Just relax!" It sounds simple and probably a little bit silly but it is something you have to try to do. Just relax. Things aren't that bad. I came across a popular Buddhist teaching.

"If the problem can be solved, why worry? If the problem cannot be solved, worrying will be of no help." And the teaching more or less puts things in the perspective…doesn’t it!

Get time on your side - Manage your time effectively - use a daily planner and to-do lists. Prioritize those tasks that are most critical. Be sure to include time for rest and relaxation.

Keep moving - Regular physical activity is one of the best ways of managing and coping with stress.

Stay clean and sober - Avoid alcohol and drug use as a means of coping with stress. Alcohol and drugs will mask the symptoms of stress but will do nothing to alleviate your stress.

Keep a healthy diet and a healthy mind - Avoid foods that are high in fat, sugar, and salt. Eat healthy meals and snacks and your energy will remain high as will your ability to focus and concentrate.

Take a break - Minimize interruptions when studying and be sure to include leisure activities and relaxation during study times.

Just say no - Learn to say no without guilt when you are working on your studies. Taking on additional tasks and projects when you do not have to will add to your stress level.

Keep it in perspective - What are the long-term consequences of whatever is stressing you out right now? If the stressor will not have long-term consequences, then you may want to "let it be" and focus on those stressors for which you can take action. Counseling and Wellness Services is available to help with this process.

Count some sheep - It is important to get enough sleep on a regular basis. Avoid caffeine and eating heavy foods late in the evening. Try to go to sleep and wake up at roughly the same time each day.

Words from someone wise.

2008-12-05T06:10:00.000-08:00

When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly! 'The power of one sentence! God is going to shift things around for you today and let things work in your favor. If you believe, send it. If you don't believe, delete it. God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close. If you need God to open some doors for you...send this to ten people. Have a blessed day and remember to be a blessing...

LETTER TO PRIME MINISTER

2008-12-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Mr. Prime minister
I am a typical mouse from Mumbai. In the local train compartment which
has capacity of 100 persons, I travel with 500 more mouse. Mouse at
least squeak but we don't even do that.
Today I heard your speech. In which you said 'NO BODY WOULD BE
SPARED'. I would like to remind you that fourteen years has passed
since serial bomb blast in Mumbai took place. Dawood was the main
conspirator. Till today he is not caught. All our bolywood actors, our
builders, our Gutka king meets him but your Government can not catch
him. Reason is simple; all your ministers are hand in glove with him.
If any attempt is made to catch him everybody will be exposed. Your
statement 'NOBODY WOULD BE SPARED' is nothing but a cruel joke on this
unfortunate people of India.

Enough is enough. As such after seeing terrorist attack carried out by
about a dozen young boys I realize that if same thing continues days
are not away when terrorist will attack by air, destroy our nuclear
reactor and there will be one more Hiroshima.

We the people are left with only one mantra. Womb to Bomb to Tomb. You
promised Mumbaikar Shanghai what you have given us is Jalianwala Baug.

Today only your home minister resigned. What took you so long to kick
out this joker? Only reason was that he was loyal to Gandhi family.
Loyalty to Gandhi family is more important than blood of innocent
people, isn't it?

I am born and bought up in Mumbai for last fifty eight years. Believe
me corruption in Maharashtra is worse than that in Bihar. Look at all
the politician, Sharad Pawar, Chagan Bhujbal, Narayan Rane, Bal
Thackray , Gopinath Munde, Raj Thackray, Vilasrao Deshmukh all are
rolling in money. Vilasrao Deshmukh is one of the worst Chief minister
I have seen. His only business is to increase the FSI every other day,
make money and send it to Delhi so Congress can fight next election.
Now the clown has found new way and will increase FSI for fisherman so
they can build concrete house right on sea shore. Next time terrorist
can comfortably live in those house , enjoy the beauty of sea and then
attack the Mumbai at their will.

Recently I had to purchase house in Mumbai. I met about two dozen
builders. Everybody wanted about 30% in black. A common person like me
knows this and with all your intelligent agency & CBI you and your
finance minister are not aware of it. Where all the black money goes?
To the underworld isn't it? Our politicians take help of these goondas
to vacate people by force. I myself was victim of it. If you have time
please come to me, I will tell you everything.

If this has been land of fools, idiots then I would not have ever
cared to write you this letter. Just see the tragedy, on one side we
are reaching moon, people are so intelligent and on other side you
politician has converted nectar into deadly poison. I am everything
Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Schedule caste, OBC, Muslim OBC, Christian
Schedule caste, Creamy Schedule caste only what I am not is INDIAN.
You politician have raped every part of mother India by your policy of
divide and rule.

Take example of former president Abdul Kalam. Such a intelligent
person, such a fine human being. You politician didn't even spare him.
Your party along with opposition joined the hands, because politician
feels they are supreme and there is no place for good person.

Dear Mr Prime minister you are one of the most intelligent person,
most learned person. Just wake up. First and foremost expose all
selfish politician. Ask Swiss bank to give name of all Indian account
holder. Give reins of CBI to independent agency. Let them find wolf
among us. There will be political upheaval but that will better than
dance of death which we are witnessing every day. Just give us ambient
where we can work honestly and without fear. Let there be rule of law.
Everything else will be taken care of.

Choice is yours Mr. Prime Minister. Do you want to be lead by one
person or you want to lead the nation of 100 Crore people?

10things God won't ask

2008-11-30T18:04:00.000-08:00

1 ...God won't ask what kind of car you drove; He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't havetransportation.

2...God won't ask the square footage of your house,He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

3...God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet, He'll ask how many you helped to clothe.

4...God won't ask what your highest salary was,He'll ask if you compromised your character to obtainit.

5...God won't ask what your job title was,He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

6...God won't ask how many friends you had,He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

7... God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived,He'll ask how you treated your neighbors.

8...God won't ask about the color of your skin,He'll ask about the content of your character.

9... God won't ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation,He'll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.

10...God won't ask how many people you forwarded this to,He'll ask if you were ashamed to pass it on to yourfriends.

Read Carefully
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

An Exceptional, Superb and Powerful Life

2008-11-28T09:30:00.001-08:00

1) Take a 20-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate antidepressant.

2) Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Lock the door if you have to.

3) Always pray and make time to exercise.

4) Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

5) Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are processed in factories.

6) Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat broccoli, almonds and walnuts.

7) Try to make at least three people smile every day.

8) Clear your clutter from your house, car, desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

9) Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.

10) Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the school curriculum that appear and fade away...but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

11) Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a layman and dinner like a beggar.

12) Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

13) Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

14) Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

15) You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

16) Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

17) Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

18) Ladies - Stop waiting for a special occasion. Every day is special.

19) No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

20) Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

21) Forgive everyone for everything.

22) What other people think of you is none of your business.

23) Time heals almost everything. Give time – time!

24) However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

25) Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch with them.

26) Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

27) Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. God provides, remember!

28) The best is yet to come.

29) No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

30) Do the right thing!

31) Call your family often.

32) Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: 'I am thankful for __________.

'Today' I accomplished _________.

33) Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

34) Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not a Disney World. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it

and enjoy the ride.

LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH. LIFE'S a gift. That's why it's called PRESENT.

Have a blessed day. Please share this mail with friends!

Seven Ways to Identify a Liar

2008-11-26T07:57:00.000-08:00

Seven Ways to Identify a Liar

The seven ways to sniff out if your partner is true to you

Washington, Oct 10 (ANI): Not sure if your partner is true to you? Well, then here are a few signs that may help sniff out whether he/she is lying or not.

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Here are seven ways to identify a liar, reports "Fox News".

1. Consider the person's recall: Liars never forget what they have to say but they may stumble when telling a tale by making contradicting statements. They're also eager to change the subject.

2. Observe the person's overall body language: Liars can look ill at ease, fiddling with their hair, stroking their throat, or rubbing their eyes. With their body often turned away from you, you may notice hand or leg fidgeting. Liars also have trouble swallowing and may shake their heads after a point has been made. When the subject finally gets changed, they appear happier and more comfortable, maybe laughing nervously.

3. Take notice of any defensiveness: Liars will often take offence to any indication that they're under suspicion. They're likely to throw any accusations you throw at them back at you. They will also talk too much, feeling the need to over-explain themselves.

4. Home in on facial expressions: Liars fail to control their micro-expressions. While fibbing, you may notice nervous twitching. Their hand may be covering or touching their face. People also tend to touch the mouth when feeling guilty or anxious. They're particularly good with fake smiles.

5. Don't overlook the Pinocchio reaction: When a human tells a lie, extra blood gets pumped through the body and the nose swells by a fraction of millimeter. Liars may subsequently touch the tip of their nose unconsciously.

6. Concentrate on the eyes: A liar has a troubled brow and downcast or darting eyes. They have trouble directly engaging your gaze. They also give you eye-accessing clues. If the person is telling you the truth, he'll look up and to the left since that's the side of the brain we use for recalling information. If she's lying, she'll look up and to the right, which is the creative side of the brain, because she's mentally constructing something that hasn't happened.

7. Note the person's voice: The higher the stakes are, the more the liar has a fear of getting caught. With this, the liar has a harder time controlling his body language or her voice. The pitch or rate of the speech may change, with the individual giving a lot of "umms" and "ahhs." Often, a liar will appear stilted and monotone. Answers may seem rehearsed. (ANI)

Positive

2008-11-25T17:43:00.000-08:00

Positive thinking is a mental attitude that anticipates happiness, success and favorable outcomes in every situation or action you do. The thoughts get registered in your subconscious mind and you start taking action to create favorable change.

A positive outlook can help you to cope better with stressful situations and can change your life for the better.

Why think positively?
Ever wondered why some people find learning an enjoyable and exciting experience? Why are some people disinterested and find it an unpleasant experience while others use it merely as a road to fetch a good job? The difference between these people lies in their attitude and their approach towards life. Your mindset plays a huge role in every aspect of your life.

Your mind can control your body for better or for worse. A negative mindset can mar your life while a positive mindset can make your life happy and peaceful. The choice is yours!

Ways to develop positive thinking
You cannot change your thoughts and attitude overnight. Positive thinking takes practice.

Persistence would make your mind to think positively and ignore negative thoughts.

Benefits of positive thinking

Decreases stress.

Helps you cope better in stressful situations.

Strengthens your Immune System and reduces the risk of certain diseases.

Improves your self-esteem and confidence.

Brings inner peace, happiness and a sense of well-being.

Motivates you to accomplish your goals.

Helps you have greater inner strength and energy.

Helps you live longer.

Listen to your inner voice
Listening to your inner voice or instincts is one of the most common ways to develop positive thinking. Whenever any negative thoughts enter your mind, try to replace it with a constructive one. For example, "I won't be able to do it" will be put forward as "I will do it". Practice this regularly and you will soon be able to master your mind.

Learn to meditate
Meditation calms your mind and relaxes your body Meditation gives you inner strength, peace of mind, relaxation and a sense of bliss, which will help you to think positively.

Always see the brighter side of life
Try to believe that everything happens for a reason and embrace the concept that something good will come out of every situation that momentarily seems bad. Always look on the bright side of life and it will work wonders for you.

Learn to communicate effectively
Not saying the things you feel can give a sense of frustration, anxiety and anger, thus giving way to negative thoughts. Hence, communication is an important aspect of positive thinking.

Believe in yourself
Believe in yourself and your capabilities to become more confident. Make a positive commitment to yourself and to the people around you. Praise yourself and be enthusiastic.

Tips to positive thinking

Be optimistic and expect favorable outcomes in every situation.
Cultivate the habit of reading inspiring books.
Find reasons to smile more often. It's a great stress buster.
Try to use positive words, e.g. "I can", "it will be done", "it is possible" while thinking and talking.
Engage yourself in enjoyable recreational activities.
Interact with people who have a positive outlook in life.

Finally…
Positive thinking needs consistent effort as you are creating a new habit. On the other hand, negative thoughts can rip your focus from your goal. There is no greater joy than living a healthy and positive life. So take charge of your mind and think positive

Do it anway

2008-11-25T17:42:00.001-08:00

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centred. Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do
good anyway.

If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies. Succeed
anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build
anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you help them. Help
people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

15 Tips to Improve Your Memory and Exercise Your Brain

2008-11-19T18:45:00.000-08:00

Everyone can take steps to improve their memory, and with time and practice most people can gain the ability to memorize seemingly impossible amounts of information. Whether you want to win the World Memory Championships, ace your history test, or simply remember where you put your keys, this article can get you started. Scientists believe that exercising your brain can create a 'cognitive reserve' that will help you stay sharp as you age.

1. Convince yourself that you do have a good memory that will improve.

Too many people get stuck here and convince themselves that their memory is bad, that they are just not good with names, that numbers just slip out of their minds for some reason. Erase those thoughts and vow to improve your memory. Commit yourself to the task and bask in your achievements it's hard to keep motivated if you beat yourself down every time you make a little bit of progress.

2. Keep your brain active.

The brain is not a muscle, but regularly "exercising" the brain actually does keep it growing and spurs the development of new nerve connections that can help improve memory. By developing new mental skillsespecially complex ones such as learning a new language or learning to play a new musical instrumentand challenging your brain with puzzles and games you can keep your brain active and improve its physiological functioning.

3. Exercise daily.

Regular aerobic exercise improves circulation and efficiency throughout the body, including in the brain, and can help ward off the memory loss that comes with aging. Exercise also makes you more alert and relaxed, and can thereby improve your memory uptake, allowing you to take better mental "pictures."

4. Reduce stress.

Chronic stress, although it does not physically damage the brain, can make remembering much more difficult. Even temporary stresses can make it more difficult to effectively focus on concepts and observe things. Try to relax, regularly practice yoga or other stretching exercises, and see a doctor if you have severe chronic stress.

5. Eat well and eat right.

There are a lot of herbal supplements on the market that claim to improve memory, but none have yet been shown to be effective in clinical tests (although small studies have shown some promising results for ginkgo biloba and phosphatidylserine). A healthy diet, however, contributes to a healthy brain, and foods containing antioxidantsbroccoli, blueberries, spinach, and berries, for exampleand Omega-3 fatty acids appear to promote healthy brain functioning. Feed your brain with such supplements as Thiamine, Vitamin E, Niacin and Vitamin B-6. Grazing, eating 5 or 6 small meals throughout the day instead of 3 large meals, also seems to improve mental functioning (including memory) by limiting dips in blood sugar, which may negatively affect the brain.

6. Take better pictures.

Often we forget things not because our memory is bad, but rather because our observational skills need work. One common situation where this occurs (and which almost everyone can relate to) is meeting new people. Often we don't really learn people's names at first because we aren't really concentrating on remembering them. You'll find that if you make a conscious effort to remember such things, you'll do much better. One way to train yourself to be more observant is to look at an unfamiliar photograph for a few seconds and then turn the photograph over and describe or write down as many details as you can about the photograph. Try closing your eyes and picturing the photo in your mind. Use a new photograph each time you try this exercise, and with regular practice you will find you're able to remember more details with even shorter glimpses of the photos.

7. Give yourself time to form a memory.

Memories are very fragile in the short-term, and distractions can make you quickly forget something as simple as a phone number. The key to avoid losing memories before you can even form them is to be able to focus on the thing to be remembered for a while without thinking about other things, so when you're trying to remember something, avoid distractions and complicated tasks for a few minutes.

8. Create vivid, memorable images.

You remember information more easily if you can visualize it. If you want to associate a child with a book, try not to visualize the child reading the book that's too simple and forgettable. Instead, come up with something more jarring, something that sticks, like the book chasing the child, or the child eating the book. It's your mind make the images as shocking and emotional as possible to keep the associations strong.

9. Repeat things you need to learn.

The more times you hear, see, or think about something, the more surely you'll remember it, right? It's a no-brainer. When you want to remember something, be it your new coworker's name or your best friend's birthday, repeat it, either out loud or silently. Try writing it down; think about it.

10. Group things you need to remember.

Random lists of things (a shopping list, for example) can be especially difficult to remember. To make it easier, try categorizing the individual things from the list. If you can remember that, among other things, you wanted to buy four different kinds of vegetables, you'll find it easier to remember all four.

11. Organize your life.

Keep items that you frequently need, such as keys and eyeglasses, in the same place every time. Use an electronic organizer or daily planner to keep track of appointments, due dates for bills, and other tasks. Keep phone numbers and addresses in an address book or enter them into your computer or cell phone. Improved organization can help free up your powers of concentration so that you can remember less routine things. Even if being organized doesn't improve your memory, you'll receive a lot of the same benefits (i.e. you won't have to search for your keys anymore).

12. Try meditation.

Research now suggests that people who regularly practice "mindfulness" meditation are able to focus better and may have better memories. Mindfulness (also known as awareness or insight meditation) is the type commonly practiced in Western countries and is easy to learn. Studies at Massachusetts General Hospital show that regular meditation thickens the cerebral cortex in the brain by increasing the blood flow to that region. Some researchers believe this can enhance attention span, focus, and memory.

13. Sleep well.

The amount of sleep we get affects the brain's ability to recall recently learned information. Getting a good night's sleep a minimum of seven hours a night may improve your short-term memory and long-term relational memory, according to recent studies conducted at the Harvard Medical School.

14. Build your memorization arsenal.

Learn pegs, memory palaces, and the Dominic System. These techniques form the foundation for mnemonic techniques, and will visibly improve your memory.

15. Venture out and learn from your mistakes.

Go ahead and take a stab at memorizing the first one hundred digits of pi, or, if you've done that already, the first one thousand. Memorize the monarchs of England through your memory palaces, or your grocery list through visualization. Through diligent effort you will eventually master the art of memorization.

A Pet's 10 Commandments

2008-11-16T09:13:00.000-08:00

1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.

2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.

3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.

5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.

7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, Ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been In the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.

9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.

10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so. ALWAYS!

Take a moment today to thank God for your pets. Enjoy and take good care of them. Life would be a much duller, less joyful experience without God's critters.

Are You Blessed?

2008-11-13T07:58:00.001-08:00

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness..........

You are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation.......

You are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep...

You are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace.......

You are among the top 8% of the worlds wealthy.

If your parents are still alive and still married........

You are very rare, even in the United States.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful.....

You are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.

If you prayed yesterday and today........

You are in the minority because you believe God does hear and answer prayers.

If you can read now…,

You are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

20 Pieces of Advice You may or may not Thank me for

2008-11-12T18:15:00.001-08:00

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn , so if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed...., skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield.

13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

17. There are two theories to arguing with a woman - Neither one works.

18. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative.

The Language of Roses

2008-11-10T08:42:00.001-08:00

Expressing feelings of love, affection, friendship, thankfulness, joy and several other feelings that makes our life beautiful and rewarding is not always easy. Some people use poetry, roses and many other things to express their feelings. However sending the appropriate rose color bouquet convey messages in a very special and beautiful way.

Roses can be sent to any one for any reasons or feelings mentioned above, be they wife or husband, friend or lover, mom or dad, grandma or grandpa or your favourite actor / actresses. No limitations applied when you are sending roses.

Learn The Meaning of Rose Colors to Send Correct Rose.

RED roses show love, passion and respect. Red roses of any color say "I love you"; deep red roses imply unconscious beauty.

PINK roses communicate happiness, appreciation, admiration, friendship, sympathy.

LIGHT PINK roses denote grace, joy, gentility and admiration.

DARK PINK roses are to singnify thankfullness.

LAVENDER symbolizes love at first sight and enchantment.

WHITE roses signify spiritual love and purity; but of the soul; bridal white means happy love. White roses can also signify secrecy reverence humility, innocence, or charm.

YELLOW shows "I care"; friendship, joy, gladness or freedom.

CORAL roses imply desire.

PEACH roses indicate modesty.

ORANGE display a feeling of enthusiasm, desire and fascination.

WHITE and RED roses mixed together signify unity.

RED and YELLOW rose together say "Congratulations!"

YELLOW and ORANGE in combination imply passionate thoughts.

Other Messages From Roses

Delicate and Beautiful, the rose is the principal messenger of love.

A single rose denotes "I still Love you"

Two Roses of any color taped or wired together signify a commitment or forthcoming marriage.

In general, pale-colored roses signify friendship.

12 Roses - Gratitude

25 Roses - Congratulations

50 Roses - Unconditional Love

With roses and flowers there are no limitations as to what can be expressed. The colors and aromas of the different types of roses all have their unique place the history of human expression. Knowing the specific meaning of a rose only enhances the experience of sending and receiving rose and flower bouquets.

Twenty One Things To Remember

2008-11-08T09:14:00.001-08:00

1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.

2. Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be

3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.

4. Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.

5. Success stops when you do.

6. When your ship comes in.... make sure you are willing to unload it.

7. You will never have it all together.

8. Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip!

9. The biggest lie on the planet When I get what I want I will be happy.

10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.

11. I've learned that ultimately , 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.

12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.

13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.

14. We often fear the thing we want the most.

15. He or she who laughs......lasts.

16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.

17. Look for opportunities..not guarantees.

18. Life is what's coming....not what was.

19. Success is getting up one more time.

20. Now is the most interesting time of all.

21. When things go wrong.....don't go with them.

Happiness: Top 10 Secrets for Being HAPPY!

2008-11-07T09:31:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite songs is Bobby McFerrin’s refrain, "Don’t Worry, Be Happy". I recently had the opportunity to observe people’s reactions when a highway was closed because of an accident ahead. As we waited, I watched as some listened to radios, a few began tossing a Frisbee, other’s seemed to be working or reading, and some opted for a quick nap. But, there were also a handful who were clearly agitated and angry. Pacing about, swearing, and upset, they decided that the best response to this event, which none of us could control, was to be very unhappy. I was reminded of Abraham Lincoln’s comment that, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." The following are my Top 10 Tips to increase happiness in your life:

1. Decide to be a happy person. As Lincoln observed, most people, most of the time, can choose how stressed or happy, how troubled or relaxed they want to be. Choose to be happy.

2. Watch and Read less news. As a recovering news addict, I know this can be difficult because the stock market fluctuates, politicians politic, and sports teams compete. But, most of the time, you don’t need the stress. So, just don’t watch. I think it was Henry Thoreau who noted that if you’ve ever read about a train wreck, you understand the principle and don’t need to know any more about it.

3. Practice the Attitude of Gratitude. We all have so much to be grateful for. Just thanking the many people who assist us, encourage us, teach us and open doors for us could take all day!

4. Take Time. My dog has taught me much about loyalty, about noticing the sights, sounds, and smells in the yard, about being relaxed and about play. Eat when you’re hungry, nap when you need it. Get your ears scratched whenever possible!

5. Laugh everyday. Hear a joke, tell a joke, laugh at yourself, laugh with your friends and family and co-workers. There are very few medicines as powerful as laughter, and I don’t think you can over-dose, although it is addicting!

6. Love well. Express your affection, appreciation, friendship and warmth to those around you, and they will almost always respond in the most amazing ways! Be generous…it pays great dividends!

7. Work hard. This one comes as a bit of a surprise, but there is tremendous satisfaction in being competent, and joy in completing our assigned tasks. One of the great sources of happiness is to do work that is worthy of you, and to do it well.

8. Learn something new, everyday. To be happy, most of us must also be growing, expanding, learning and challenging ourselves. Read, listen, adapt and stretch to accommodate new ideas and new information.

9. Use your body as it was designed. Walk and run, stretch, throw things, and lift things. Dance! Exercise is good, but so is making love, mixing up a batch of cookies, or exchanging backrubs. You have a body and it can be either a source of joy, or a source of aches and pains. Your choice.

10: Avoid toxins. I prefer writing positives (things to do) rather than negatives (things to fear), but reality says there are negative people and there are bad chemicals, stressful noises, and unsafe places. Don’t go there! Avoid poisons whenever possible. It seems to work out better that way.

Aphorisms for Aspirants

2008-11-06T09:20:00.001-08:00

· It is the meek that needs mounts of courage. A trapeze player does not need a talisman.

· Failure is the milestone that gives you the distance and the direction.

· Fear ceases to be a motivating force, when an escape route is available.

· What a leader needs is acceptability. If he is not accepted, he falls flat.

· Your weakest moment determines your strength of character.

· Success sustains us. But mistakes make us.

· Even distribution does not guarantee effective utilization. Time Management eloquently demonstrates this.

· Pedigree, at best, can provide only a platform for performance.

· An optimist is always sure of himself. A pessimist is pestered with doomsday dreams.

· Power of Authority is ephemeral. Power of reasoning is eternal.

· Allow your knowledge to be questioned.. Else it would degenerate into belief.

· Discipline is good in the barracks. But what works in the battlefront is strategy.

· Performance should befit the man. A cross bat shot from a Kapil Dev would be applauded for its might. But from a Gavaskar - Neville Cardus would turn in his grave.

· Yesterday's excellence becomes today's benchmark.

· Pursuing of excellence means distancing from mediocrity.

· What leads to disaster is ego in a team effort and fear in an individual pursuit.

· A team effort is like a motor vehicle in motion  synchronized movement in a set direction.

· To achieve results, have a clear goal and be conscious of your role.

· At least be in the race, if not win the race.

· HRD consists of carrying people and caring for them.

· Always allow mistakes to be explained, as we get enlightened in the process.

· If you are unsure about destination, the journey becomes endless.

· Urge to innovate comes from an inherent desire to change. Dissatisfaction with the present gives rise to the desire to change.

Six Steps to Stop Smoking

2008-11-06T09:19:00.001-08:00

In Six straightforward and easy steps, you can stop smoking and live a normal and healthy life same as that of a non-smoker.

Step 1: Think About Quitting

According to a recent survey, around 15 million smokers try to quit smoking each day. However, less than 3% of these people stop smoking successfully for 3 to 12 months. If you're thinking about quitting or have stopped smoking but failed to quit, don't lose hope because smokers often try to quit more than once before they actually succeed.

In this section, you will learn about the history of cigarette smoking, facts about smoking, smoking cessation and benefits of quitting smoking. To give you a strong reason to quit smoking, this section will also tackle dangerous diseases such as lung cancer, heart disease, strokes, diabetes, etc caused by smoking cigarettes. In addition, this section will explain the reasons why it is extremely hard to quit smoking, hurdles in quitting and possible nicotine withdrawal symptoms that you may encounter throughout this process.

Step 2: Effects of Smoking

Years of clinical studies have proven that using Tobacco causes people to become sick, disabled or die. Since the first Surgeon General's Report in 1964, over 12 million smoking-related deaths have occurred. More than 500,000 deaths in the U.S are caused from smoking-related illnesses. Adult smokers reduce their lifespan by an average of 13 to 14 years.

In this section, you will learn about the dangerous effects and health risks of smoking. You will understand the facts about smoking addiction, the hazardous effects of smoking on a pregnant woman, on passive smokers, on your facial charm and on your teeth. You will also learn how stress could play a role in cigarette smoking. This section also deals with the effects on secondhand smoke, effects of smoking on vitamin A and C, dangerous effects of smoking on men and women, as well as the differences between cigar and pipe smoking.

Step 3: Preparing To Quit Smoking

The first key to quitting smoking successfully is planning and preparation. You need to prepare your body and mind before actually quitting. Determine your personal goals, discover your reasons for quitting and get rid of temptations that may become a hindrance to your stop smoking program. Tobacco smoke contains nicotine, a drug that is addictive and can make it very hard, but not impossible, to quit.

In this section, you will face the facts about nicotine addiction before your last stick of cigarette. You will learn the most effective steps to be followed when planning to quit smoking. You will also find out about the real reason why it is so hard to quit smoking. To help you plan your quit smoking program, you need to confront your personal reasons to start quitting and understand what you need to do stop smoking. This section also deals with the psychological recovery stages to stop smoking and provides helpful tips to quit smoking.

Step 4: Stop Smoking Tips

Even if you have no idea where to start and what to do, you can quit smoking as long as you have the mindset and commitment to do so. Stop smoking tips can help you create a good stop smoking plan and lifestyle changes that could lead to a healthier, smoke-free life.

In this section, you will learn some of the simplest ways and useful tips to quit smoking for good. You can choose from several psychological areas that can help you to stop smoking based on your lifestyle. This section also deals with stop smoking tips that will help your loved ones quit this deadly habit and tips on how to overcome nicotine withdrawal symptoms using an effective stop smoking plan, attending support groups and establishing a smoking cessation program.

Step 5: Stop Smoking Aids

When smoking cigarettes has played a large part in your life, quitting smoking may not be that simple. Fortunately, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has approved seven over-the-counter stop smoking aids five of these help in managing nicotine withdrawal symptoms, while the other two help in reducing cigarette cravings.

In this section, you will learn about different proven stop smoking methods like Water Therapy, Psychological Therapy and Nicotine Replacement Therapy. This section also deals with other useful stop smoking aids such as nicotine nasal sprays, nicotine lozenges, nicotine inhalers, nicotine patches, nicotine gum and stop smoking pills.

Step 6: Stay a Quitter

After sometime, some quitters get back to their smoking habit due to temptation and persistent nicotine carving. Some may slip and puff "just one cigarette", while others experience total relapse. In fact, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, smokers who quit are at greater risk of relapsing in the first three months of becoming smoke-free.

In this section, you will learn effective methods in avoiding nicotine carvings, while training how to control urges through breathing exercises. To understand what you are going to experience through this process, you need to learn and manage nicotine withdrawal symptoms. This section also tackles steps to manage weight gain, discusses FAQ on common frustrations of a quitter, handle traumatic events without a cigarette and other possible solutions for ex-smokers.

Happily Single or Happily Married

2008-11-06T09:18:00.002-08:00

Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy because we will always want to have something else or something more. - Brother David Steindl-Rast :

Contentment is the key to happiness. If we are contented with what we have or whom we are, we will find true happiness. Success is not the key to happiness but rather happiness is the key to success.

Happiness mainly comes from our own attitude, rather than from external factors. If your own mental attitude is correct, even if you remain in a hostile atmosphere, you can still feel happy.-H.H. the Dalai Lama:

The process of being happy does not depend on others. You create your own happiness.If you love what you are doing , you will find happiness.

You can be happy as a single as well as being in marriage but I think I rather prefer to be married and being happy because of the joys of a family life and snuggled up in the warm embrace of a loving relationship.

Life is more fulfilling and compassionate when you have children in marriage. It gives meaning to what life is all about . A man who does not marry is like a fruit tree which flowers but bears no fruit.When he grows old, he will be cold ,lonely and living in an empty void.

It is not that they do not want to marry but their expectations are too high or too perfect and no one can live up to their standards or they have not found the right one yet.

If you are single ,be happy and if you are married, be happy too. Being married is full of challenges and if there are no challenges in life, life would not be worth living.

The Advantages of Day Dreaming

2008-11-06T09:18:00.001-08:00

When you are young ,you have many dreams and you sometimes dream at night and even daydream when you are free and relax. There are times when your dreams can come true while other times they remain unfulfilled.

For some , life is hard enough and daydreaming is the only avenue which they can escape from realism.We dream of success, of being rich and enjoying everything this world can offer us.

It maybe wishful thinking or useless or unproductive activity to some but taken as a whole , it has it's advantages. According to some experts , it is good for your health. When you daydream , you will be thinking of those positive events which can uplift your spirits .

You would dream of a brighter future and this would make you feel happier even though you have not attain that status yet. To have positive thoughts can relieve stress as your mind is taken off over those negative events which have afflicted your everyday life. Stress is bad for your health.

Daydreaming would also refocus your mind on your objective rather than what is happening around you.It would be easier to accept things around you as they are when you know those things are only temporary .

In daydreaming , there are no physical or mental barriers and you could wish anything or fantasize anything you like. There are two types of people , those who are only dreamers and those who work hard to make their dreams come true.

Everything in moderations is good but if taken into extremes can be bad. We should not overindulge in daydreaming or we will become disconnected and out of touch with reality. There should be a right place and time for daydreaming to get the benefits.

You do not want to start daydreaming while you are driving on the road or cooking a meal or while having sex. That would have disastrous consequences. Sometimes , it does happen that way when you lose control of your senses. It is just too good and your mind gets carried away.

When you get nervous or feel stressed it is a high time to start daydreaming, experts recommend. Dream all you want because it will not cost you anything

With today's rat race where everyone is rushing here and there, many do not have the luxury to dream.These people should get off the super highways and slow down to enjoy the simple way of life and live longer.

Like the song," Dream! Dream! Dream!All you have to do is dream.!

Lessons From Hell

2008-11-06T08:53:00.001-08:00

I'm getting crisis fatigue. I'm tired of hearing about it and I'm tired of watching the market react negatively. It's funny to me that all the people who were FOR the bailout basically promised us that the market was going to fall IF we didn't approve the bailout. Well, guess what: we did get the bailout and look at what the market is doing. You guys are smart!

So, what can we learn from this credit crisis? I have a few lessons I can think of off the top of my head. There may be more. If I missed something, please leave a comment and let me know.

I present to you JLP's Lessons From Hell:

1. You can only live outside of your means for so long. Eventually, you have to reign in your expenses and bring them in-line with your income.

2. A bunch of crap bundled up together and sold off in chunks is still CRAP! Seriously, who's bright idea was it to bundle up subprime mortgages—the riskiest of all mortgages—and sell them off as "safe" investments?

3. Housing prices don't always go up!

4. There's a difference between what you can actually afford and what you are approved for.

5. READ the fine print—that's where all the nasty stuff is going to be found.

6. Don't trust ANYONE who profits off your business! Sure, there are ethical sales people out there but you can't trust that they have YOUR best interests at heart. Remember too that mortgage brokers make a percentage of the amount they write. The more they write, the more they make.

7. Greed is a deadly motivator.

8. People need a basic education in money management.

9. Don't use home equity to buy stuff or take a vacation.

10. Your home is not a bank.

11. Banks and brokerage houses are managed by people just like you and me. Although they may act superior to us, they really aren't—as evidenced by how stupid their actions were in helping create this crisis.

I'm sure there are more lessons but this was all I could come up with. What do you think of this list? What did I miss? Leave a comment and let me know.

Happiness: Free Tips To Improve Self Confidence

2008-11-05T08:31:00.001-08:00

1. DRUNK!

At the age of sixteen I was invited out for the evening on a Saturday night to celebrate a friend’s birthday. This for most people would be something to look forward to, for me it was something to dread. Socialising and ordering drinks for somebody who has a stutter is bad enough, but I regularly seemed to bare the brunt of the evening’s jokes about me height, weight and occasionally my bald patch. Even though my friend’s were not doing this to be cruel, I was very paranoid about myself at that age and this banter would hurt.

I had often been out for evenings where I drank alcohol, however up to this point had never been drunk. On this particular night the drink flowed and before long I found myself a little worse for ware. The results of which would later change my life.

I found myself talking to lots of different people, some of which I did not know, even girls! My whole character and personality started to change, I was telling jokes and when someone made a comment about my weight for example, I laughed and even came back with a derogatory comment about him, joining in the banter and seemingly enjoying it.

My attitude changed, for example instead of thinking that a certain girl might not want me because of my weight, stutter or height, I thought to myself, she will want me, I’m a good person and could make her laugh. My whole outlook was far more positive and my confidence was buzzing. It was a superb and very enjoyable night.

The next morning I awoke not feeling the best with a bad hangover. One of the highlights of the previous night was that I had been given a phone number from one of the girls I had met. I told her that I would phone her to arrange a date, however I was now sober, back to my normal self and no did not have the confidence to ring. This girl thinks I am fluent, how would she react if I stutter, I wondered.

I went to bed most disappointed with myself but started to analyse the differences between when I had been drunk to when I was sober. The conclusion was obvious, when drunk I can talk, I don’t care about my weight, lack of height etc. When sober I have a lack of confidence and am paranoid about certain aspects about my person. I knew that I could not be drunk 24/7 and that what I needed to do was to become a harder person, less paranoid etc. I had to be mentally drunk all of the time without being physically drunk. I knew this would be hard to achieve but in the future possibly when I was older would be a must.

This attitude is hard to achieve, however using some of the following methods became a reality for me a number of years later.

2. YOU HAVE TO START TO LIKE YOURSELF!

At the age of twenty-two I decided to as already stated deal with and try to overcome some of the issues in my life. I started to read various books, like mind over matter and positive thinking type books.

In one such book it had a line which read:

“You need to start to like yourself”

I put the book down and starting to think and realised that I didn’t actually like myself. I hated being overweight, shorter than average, having a bald patch and especially having a speech impediment.

I carried on reading and it went on to say:

“There are various things about one’s self which even though we don’t like we are unable to change, therefore we have to accept them. Other aspects we can change therefore we have to work extremely hard with determination to eradicate them.

Once again I put the book down and thought about this. Firstly my height, am I ever going to grow any taller? The answer is no, there is nothing I can do to increase my height at the age of twenty-two therefore I have to accept it. From reading more of the book later I realised that I was being over-sensitive about this and some of my other issues. There are a lot of people out there a lot worse off than I am. Does my current height hurt me in anyway or affect my life in any major negative way, again the answer is no.

Secondly, the bald area on my head. As with the above hair is not going to start growing in that area of my scalp, I have had the bald patch since birth and therefore have to accept the fact and even try to like it.

Then there is my weight. This is something that I could change, therefore I have to work hard to lose the weight. I have to accept certain sacrifices; such as to eat less fatty foods and be disciplined to reach my target weight, however long it might take.

Finally there is my speech impediment. I had had a stutter since the age of four and for me this was the most important of all of my issues. I was not sure if I would be able to achieve fluency, however in my mind believed I could. If I can talk when I am drunk I should be able to talk when I am fluent. I was not going to accept having a stutter for the rest of my life until I had worked hard to eradicate it. Work hard I did and eventually I overcome this major issue in my life.

I advise people that the above were my own personal issues and that each individual has to identify there own. It is then a case of accepting the issues which can not be changed and working hard to overcome the ones that can.

3. ATTITUDE

I was somebody who wanted to be like by everybody. If anybody criticised me or called me names, I would easily be offended and my confidence would drop. As an example from the age of about seventeen I would go out with my friends most Friday and Saturday nights to public houses and sometimes to a night club. I remember one Saturday morning, aged about eighteen, waking up feeling quite ill, very hung over. I had consumed far too much alcohol on the previous evening. I looked in my wallet and had also spent far too much money. I decided that I would stay in on the Saturday night, just for a change. During the afternoon I had a phone call from a friend called Phil. He asked me where we going that night. After telling him that I was not going out, he called me boring on numerous occasions, offering to lend me money, saying that I had changed etc. I didn’t want him to think of me in this way however stuck to my guns, eventually he put the phone down on me in a mood. Within a few minutes another friend phoned asking why I was not going out, also calling me various names including boring. I ended up going out.

At this age I did not have enough respect for myself, I was too concerned what people thought of me and was easily persuaded into doing things and going places that I in didn’t want to.

After reading some of the books as mentioned above I realised this and asked myself a question:

“Am I boring”

I have lots of interests, theatre, cinema, eating out, chess, football, snooker, golf, horse racing, tennis, music to name a few. By this age I was becoming bored of going out drinking alcohol. I decided to be strong and stated to my friends that I was now only going out drinking once a month. Originally, every Friday and Saturday night people would phone asking me if I was going out, if I declined I was criticised, your so boring for example. My new found attitude, though hard at first to adopt and follow through meant that I didn’t really care and I certainly didn’t bow to pressure.

One particular friend, Phil, was particularly verbally aggressive and demanding, calling me different names. He was seemingly in shock that someone was standing up to him. On one afternoon I fought back and said to him:

“Whatever you say, whatever you call me, I am not going out tonight, however I will go out with you on Tuesday night if you want to”

He agreed to this so I asked him if he wanted a game of snooker, or golf, or a trip to the cinema or theatre. He thought all of these options were “boring”. I mentioned other interests of mine such as chess, again all of the options I mentioned he didn’t find interesting. I said to him:

“OK, where would you like to go?” “What about the pub for a few beers?”

I laughed at Phil and said:

“I’m sorry mate you’re the one who is boring not me”.

I then put the phone down on him for a change.

My attitude was beginning to change for the better. I was becoming harder and stronger mentally. A few years later I met my present fiancee and I soon realised I was a long way off the level I wanted to be. Her name is Sharron and a couple of weeks after we had met she invited me to a night out with some of her friends who she said wanted to meet me. I knew I had to go even though in reality it was the last thing I wanted to do. I was worried what her friends might think of me etc. I did attend and managed to cope, however I was very quiet, felt uncomfortable throughout the evening and felt very nervous. I was glad to get back to the safety of my own home! A couple of weeks later I was invited to meet her parents and immediately I had the same feelings as above and the night passed in a similar way with me having a distinct lack of confidence etc.

About a month later Sharron agreed to accompany me to a wedding in Birmingham where I was born. On this day she would meet most of my friends and family for the first time. As we were driving on the motorway I thought she must be a bit nervous. I asked her if she was OK and if she was slightly nervous. She replied:

“What have I got to be nervous about?”
“Well your meeting my family and friends later. Are you not concerned what they will think of you?”
“Steve, I don’t care what they think of me. It’s what you think that counts and I know you like me!”

This was not a front she was putting on. Suddenly I realised how far I was away from the attitude to life and attitude to people I wanted to have. Sharron has helped me to reach that level. Being around positive people at this stage was very beneficial to me.

Leadership: Reinventing Failure: Designing Success

2008-11-03T09:32:00.001-08:00

I am fascinated by problems. I like to think of myself as a solution oriented individual. However when problems creep into my life as they always do I know that I am in for a major learning experience.

I just finished reading a book this week that belongs on the bookshelf of every entrepreneur. It is called “Juice, The Creative Fuel That Drives World-Class Inventors by Evan I. Schwartz.” This book allows you to take a peek inside the labs of the brightest minds and better understand how they relentlessly question and discover the infinite number of ways that we can imagine and create solutions. The book is an awesome expose on how world class inventors on the planet search for problems, seek to understand them and develop solutions that can only come about by perceiving the problem in a different manner. Every entrepreneur should read this book! It is chock full of wisdom that we can apply to our business lives.

Albert Einstein once commented that the most fundamental question we can ever ask ourselves is whether or not the universe we live in is friendly or hostile. He hypothesized that your answer to that question would determine your destiny. I feel that most people have decided that the universe is hostile. In so doing their immediate response to any problem only compounds the hostility. However, the great minds always teach us that regardless of the problem there is a major lesson to be understood if we only learn to look for it. The history of the world is literally the history of transformative breakthroughs.

In the book ““Juice, The Creative Fuel That Drives World-Class Inventors by Evan I. Schwartz” the author clearly demonstrates that the one factor that separates world class inventors from wannabes is that they celebrate the feedback they receive from FAILURE. The most innovative minds recognize that within every failure lies the true and genuine information that is required to learn how to better understand the problem and overcome the obstacles that it presents. They are fascinated by the feedback they receive and are consistently focused on experimenting further because of the feedback that will provide.

A powerful lesson for all of us! Failure is feedback and within that feedback is the wisdom of incredible success. Or as Dr. Wayne Dyer as stated, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Take for example the story of Dean Kamen the inventor of the Segway, the two wheeled personal electronic vehicle that is revolutionizing transportation in our major cities. One day in 1990, Kamen witnessed a wheelchair bound man trying to navigate a curb en route to a shopping center. He followed the man into an ice cream store and was astonished at how the man struggled to reach for the counter and grab his ice cream cone. Within that experience Kamen was both outraged and inspired. The seeds of the Segway were born.

Two years later after numerous disappointments Kamen slipped on a wet bathroom floor and realized that the real problem he was confronting in his technology was one of balance. He and his team of engineers honed in on the enabling technology of electronic gyroscopes that could provide “automatic balance.” It was only after years and years of failure and celebrating the feedback he received that they could focus on the successful introduction of the Segway prototype. Today, according to Kamen the Segway is the answer to the urban transportation problem. 43% of the world’s gas is used by cars and almost 20% of individuals’ disposable income goes to car payments and gasoline. The market for the Segway is several billion people! A fascinating creation brought about by someone who simply disagreed with limitations imposed by the status quo.

What is your greatest problem in life right now?

What is the greatest problem in your business?

The late Dr. Norman Vincent Peale was fond of saying that, “When God wants to send you a gift he wraps it up in a problem and the bigger the gift that God sends you the bigger the problem.”

If the Segway can be born by witnessing a wheelchair bound man in pursuit of an ice cream cone what are the possibilities that can occur in your life if you learn to seek the lesson in your problems?

An Nathan Myrhrvold, the former Chief Technologist at Microsoft Corporation has prophesied “There’s never been a better time to have big ideas.”

Eureka! When you reinvent failure you design your own success.

Be Careful What You Agree With!

10 Guidelines from God

2008-10-31T10:28:00.001-07:00

Effective immediately, please be aware that there are changes YOU need to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be completed in order that I may fulfill My promises to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in this life. I apologize for any inconvenience, but after all that I am doing, this seems very little to ask of you. Please, follow these 10 guidelines

1. QUIT WORRYING:

Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?

2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:

Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until you turn it over to Me. And although My to-do-list is long, I am after all... God. I can take care of anything you put into My hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.

3. TRUST ME:

Once you've given your burdens to Me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in Me. Have the faith that I will take care of all! ! your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on My list. Problem with finances? Put it on My list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For My sake, put it on My list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.

4. LEAVE IT ALONE:

Don't wake up one morning and say, "Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here." Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple. You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with Me and forget about them. Just let Me do my job.

5. TALK TO ME:

I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I'm in control. But there's one thing I pray you never forget. Please, don't forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU! I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in on the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with Me. I want to be your dearest friend.

6. HAVE FAITH:

I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me; you wouldn't want the view from My eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet! ! your needs. You only have to trust Me. Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

7. SHARE:

You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven't heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith with those who have none.

8. BE PATIENT:

I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experi ences. You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle something on My to-do-list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just because I created the entire universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, rush.

9. BE KIND:

Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for My sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical. Please, know I! ! love each of your differences.

10. LOVE YOURSELF:

As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for one reason only -- to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes My heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me.

Don't ever forget that.

Self Esteem: Gain Confidence and Boost Self Esteem in 5 Simple Steps

2008-10-31T10:19:00.002-07:00

We all want to become more confident and feel good about ourselves so we can live our very best life. Here are some ways to gain confidence and raise self-esteem:

1. Do something that requires a decision and a follow-through.

Have you been putting off writing that letter to aunt Martha? Is there a friend you've been meaning to call? Wash the car, tidy the garden or clean the house. You'll gain confidence by setting goals (even small ones) and following through on them.

2. Enjoy something you do well.

Do you have any hobbies or sports that you enjoy playing? Some things like going swimming, painting or writing can hold your attention and get you into a state of 'flow'. While you are in the flow you forget about everything else.

Afterwards, you'll feel competent and capable. It's a great way to boost your self-esteem. If you don't have any particular hobbies or pastimes that you enjoy make an effort to try something you've always wanted to try.

Picture yourself doing it, and then give it a try! It doesn't have to be something big - it can be as simple as joining a walking club.

You'll find that you are more centered and happier if you do something that puts you in that flow at least once a week.

3. Shift the focus.

It's been shown that low self-esteem develops hand-in-hand with individuals who put too much focus on themselves. You can gain confidence by doing something that focuses on someone else or even something else.

You'll find that when you are in a situation where you are meeting new people, you immediately become less nervous when you focus on the person you are meeting.

At the end of the day, you've interacted with others and will notice that you feel much lighter.

4. Relax, already!

Learning to become more relaxed is a great life enhancer. People who are more relaxed have fewer problems with their memories and are more likely to take the bumps in the road of life in stride.

The practice of meditation has gained popularity for this reason. You might want to look into Tai Chi, which involves physical relaxation techniques.

Whatever method you decide on, take relaxation seriously. The benefits are just too great to ignore. If you've never considered relaxation important, think of it this way: if you can attend to something that results in feeling good, how can you not gain confidence in your personal abilities?

5. Make a list of everything you've ever accomplished.

Think small. An accomplishment is an accomplishment! Some things you could put on your list: passed my driver's test and got my license, scored a goal when I played hockey, managed to save enough money to go on a trip and so on.

These are just a few ideas you can use to gain confidence and boost your self-esteem. Use these ideas as a base point and add these things permanently in your life.

Keep in mind, people are not born with good self-esteem, most of us have to work at it. It develops from your thinking and the things you do daily to make yourself feel good.

Self Esteem: Why Self Esteem Matters

2008-10-31T10:19:00.001-07:00

A number of years ago I worked for one of the UK's top IT companies -- a global player. We were meeting to discuss a major bid, and the room was filled with people who didn't meet often -- the most senior managers from a number of divisions. There were very few middle tier managers in the room, almost exclusively senior managers who were accustomed to being 'top dog'. The atmosphere in that room was almost tangible. I wanted to bottle the air and analyse it later -- I had never experienced such naked power, and it dawned on me in that moment that we are almost blind to the status signals we transmit.

That meeting was an epiphany, and led to me becoming a hypnotherapist with a particular interest in researching confidence and self esteem. Because what I discovered in that company, and in many companies I have assisted subsequently, was the startling fact that an individual's self-esteem is a reliable indicator of how far they will progress in the organisation. Some technical geniuses can buck the trend, but they are very rare. For most of us, our ability to influence decision-making is precisely limited by our self esteem.

Why does this matter? It matters because the person with the greatest self esteem is not necessarily the right person to be making the key decisions. We have all suffered foolish bosses. Perhaps we have all wondered how on earth they reached such positions of seniority, given their obvious shortcomings. If you will excuse the bluntness: that incompetent boss is there because you haven't yet been sufficiently convincing. Your performance is perhaps the least important aspect on which you will be judged; what matters is your status in the group.

Status is a fascinating topic. We communicate our status constantly, primarily through body language and voice tone. This communication is unconscious; it is felt rather than known or consciously controlled. The way in which you behave reflects your self perception of status. This is either accepted or challenged by the people around you. A dominant person (relative to you) will cause you to back off from a challenge. A submissive person (again, relative to your own status) will make it easy for you to project your will.

And so we come to the nub. We should all seek to develop our self esteem, not because of the personal benefits which will flow from this personal growth -- career enhancement, improved love life etc -- but because we have a duty to ourselves and our communities. Until and unless we step up to the plate, our communities will remain vulnerable to an almost random process of leader selection. So ask yourself: 'Am I allowing less talented people to make decisions on my behalf?' If the answer is 'yes', then perhaps you should consider stepping up to the plate yourself. The first step in this process is building up your own self confidence and self esteem. Don't be bashful; there's nothing selfish about developing your own qualities. A community with a rich selection of potential leaders is, in my view, a secure community.

Self Esteem: How To Raise Self Esteem

2008-10-31T10:18:00.002-07:00

One of the most important parts of maintaining good health is having strong, positive self esteem. Remember, you're a really great person. Don't let others get you down. There are many things that are unique and special about you. Do you have any special skills or talents? Write them down and whenever you feel depressed, review your list. This will greatly boost your self esteem.

With that said, here's how to raise self esteem quickly and easily:

First, figure out what you perceive to be your weaknesses and fix them. Do you feel like you don't have enough skills or you aren't special? Find something that you'd like to learn and practice it over and over again. Want to learn how to bowl? Find your local bowling alley and start practicing. Don't worry about what other people think. Want to learn how to improve your writing? Sit down with a couple of good books and analyze the writing style, and then start writing anything that comes to mind. You can do this quickly and easily for as many skills as you'd like.

One of the biggest secrets about how to raise self esteem is learning to see what is hurting you. Many people who have low self esteem have poor friends who insult them and hurt them. Is this the case with you? Do your friends lower your self esteem? If so, get out there and start making new friends. It's a lot easier than it sounds. Most people will be flattered if you sit next to them in public and start chatting. And if you "fail" - that is, they aren't interested - move on to someone else. It happens to the best of us!

Another key about how to raise self esteem is discovering what you're good at and improving it even more. Very few of us consider ourselves to be "masters" at any particular trait or skill, but very good at a lot of things. So, write out another list and figure out what you're truly good at and improve it even more!

Hopefully these quick suggestions will show you how to raise self esteem. If you implement this advice whenever you're feeling down, you should see positive results in just a short time.

Self Esteem: Self Esteem: 8 Universal Laws

2008-10-31T10:18:00.001-07:00

The Law of Stuart Smalley

Genuinely strong self-eteem has nothing to do with the Stuart Smalley character on "Saturday Night Live." Smalley was played by talk-show host A1 Franken who looked in the mirror to tell himself "You're good enough,you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you." This is not the kind of namby-pamby-feel-good self-esteem we're talking about.

The Law of Definition

Self-esteem is one of those frequently used terms that we believe we know the meaning of until we are asked to define it. Most folks define it as the way you feel about yourself. The problem is feelings can, and often do, change. The definition I have found most useful of self-esteem is: the strength and power of your belief in your self.

The Law of Ends vs. Means

While working on increasing your self-esteem, remember it's just a means to an end, not the end in and of itself. I've known lots of unsuccessful people, and even people who continually do the wrong thing, and yet they feel good about themselves. Self-esteem is merely a means to the end if increasing the quality of life, for yourself and those around you.

The Law of Company

Self-esteem is strongly influenced by the company you keep. Hang around people with weak self-esteem and yours is likely to be weak as well. And guess what? Hang around people with strong self-esteem, and yours is likely to strengthen as well.

The Law of Blame and Accuse

I've heard so many people say "My self-esteem is low because I'm too this/that, I grew up without this/that and this/that has happened to me." Which usually leads me to wonder what does a person who is too this/that, grew up without this/that, and has had this/that happen to them, DO WITH THE REST OF HIS OR HER LIFE?

The Law of Action

You can learn about self-esteem, read about it, go to seminars, etc., and nothing will change if you don't do something with what you learn. In order to change something, you simply must TAKE ACTION!

The law of NWBG

While NWBG may sound like the name of a rock group, it's really a fast and easy way to measure and mprove your self-esteem. In vertical order, write the letters NWBG, vhich stand for Now-Worst-Best-Goal. Now, on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 is the worst and 10 is the best) rate your self-esteem the way it is Now, the Worst it has ever been, the Best it has ever been, and the Goal you would like it to be. This gives you a number next to each of the letters NWBG. If you are like most folks, Now is higher the Worst. This gives us some important information:

How did you get from the worst to where you are now? The answers can be key for further strengthening your selfesteem.

The Law of Higher Math

Now we will do a little higher math in order to strengthen your self-esteem. Take the number for your Goal (let's say 10) and subtract from it the number for now (let's say 4), so it's 6. So that's six levels of selfesteem to travel, which is too big a chunk all at once.

Let's make it manageable by taking one level at a time. What small, simple steps can you begin to take immediately to move you from a four to a five? And then a 5 to a 6, a 6 to a 7, and so on. In this way you can measure your progress as you go, and rather quickly strengthen your self-esteem.

How's that for progress?

Area of Control in Life

2008-10-30T05:43:00.001-07:00

Quite an interesting analogy I got in my mailbox today and thought I would like to share with you this interesting analogy. Choosing what to focus on in life can indeed make a different in your life.

Every day every second we are bombarded with different incident that need our attention. Have we observed closely how we respond to each incident? I realized there is always 2 areas of focus, that is area within and not within my control. For instance, I might I have taken a wrong route to a destination. By keep blaming myself for taking the wrong route and still feeling bad for the wasted time, I'm focusing on area not within my control as what has happened cannot be reverted through blaming myself. If I spend time revising my route for the return the trip, I will avoid the wrong route, Here I'm focusing on area within my control. Making the
right focus made me more intelligent and more efficient.

For majority of thet people in the world, their main focus is to complete 9 - 6 regular working the same routine every day. I would describe them as tree cutter who would reuse the same axe, even though edges are blunt, cutting tree from morning till evening,. They are focusing on area not within their control as they restrict themselves within a routine. There is another kind of people who spend morning sharpening their axe and cut more trees in the afternoon within a shorter time. The sharper the edge of axe is, the more efficient the work is going to be carried out. They are focus on their sharpening their skill and hence area within their control. Do you belong to first kind of people or second one?

The Two Choices We Face

2008-10-30T05:41:00.001-07:00

Each of us have two distinct choices to make about what we will do with our lives. The first choice we can make is to be less than we have the capacity to be. To earn less. To have less. To read less and think less. To try less and discipline ourselves less. These are the choices that lead to an empty life. These are the choices that, once made, lead to a life of constant apprehension instead of a life of wondrous anticipation.

And the second choice? To do it all! To become all that we can possibly be.

To read every book that we possibly can. To earn as much as we possibly can. To give and share as much as we possibly can. To strive and produce and accomplish as much as we possibly can. All of us have that choice.

To do or not to do. To be or not to be. To be all, to be less or to be nothing at all.

Like the tree, it would be a worthy challenge for us all to stretch upward and outward to the full measure of our capabilities. Why not do all that we can, every moment that we can, the best that we can, for as long as we can?

Our ultimate life objective should be to create as much as our talent, ability and desire will permit. To settle for doing less than we could do is to fail in this worthiest of undertakings.

Results are the best measurement of human progress. Not conversation. Not explanation. Not justification. Results! And if our results are less than our potential suggests that they should be, then we must strive to become more today than we were the day before. The greatest rewards are always reserved for those who bring great value to themselves and the world around them as a result of who and what they have become.

Emotional Balance Is Essential For Healthy Living

2008-10-30T05:33:00.001-07:00

Emotional balance is considered mastered when our mind, body and spirit are in line with each other and we are in a space where we have done our inner work and we feel at peace. We need to pay attention that all situations and life issues are resolved, or at least aired, and pay attention to the feelings that emerge from within us.

Many times our emotional balance is ignored and passed off as stress, discomfort, boredom and distraction; and we try and fix it by all sorts of ways that really just don't work. Some of those fix-it methods are eating, eating comfort foods, shopping, sex, gambling, drinking, over working, and the list can go one, and we never get to the core of why we just can't feel better.

Emotional balance is as important as any other health aspect and some times even more, as it can accelerate our other health issues, in fact it can actually be the cause of other health issues. It is one of the most important aspects to the whole body balance.

When you are out of balance it creates stress and conflict in your relationships; and that is all of your relationships, which include family, employment, road rage, marital, friendships and right down to the shopping clerk. So you can see how emotional balance is as important as physical health, in fact even more so as it effects your physical health. You truly can't improve your physical health with out balancing your emotional.

A regular spiritual practice can greatly assist in centering you and maintaining clarity about those aspects of your life, which are truly important. This can be any kind of spiritual practice including yoga, meditation, qi gong, prayer, EFT; it is something good to practice on a daily basis and preferably in the morning and the evening. Feng sui is great for peace and tranquility in the home and work space, as with the proper placement of objects and de-clutter, it creates a calm soothing energy in your space.

If you feel your emotional balance is off, improving your diet is one positive step you can take, your mind, body and spirit can work much closer together if your food intake is in balance, that means eliminating items such as caffeine, sugar, processed foods, soda, alcohol, cigarettes and eating whole, organic foods.

Work on creating a positive outlook and attitude on life, always look for the good in everything and start being grateful, especially when you feel there isn't anything to be grateful for; you can always find something. When you do this it shifts your energy into balance. You will feel lighter, brighter and much more healthy.

The Power of Commitment

2008-10-30T05:32:00.002-07:00

Was our failure to succeed really due to a lack of time, some
unlearned skill, or a much deeper self-esteem issue? Well, we could
probably get a great conversation going as to why so many people have
such a difficult time keeping their commitments. However, I would
prefer to offer a simpler solution—a step-by-step approach that will,
in effect, allow you to set, keep, and ultimately achieve any
worthwhile goal you desire...

"Commitment is doing the thing you said you'd do,
long after the feeling you said it in has passed." Now that's what
keeping your word is all about!

So if "committing to...and then following through" is what you'd like
to do more often, the following five step plan will help you set your
goals and keep your promises, thereby allowing you to ultimately
achieve what's truly important to you...

1) Decide What You Want
Achievers realize some people join the business because they want to
drive a new car; some because they want to earn more money; and some
because they want the extra time needed to enjoy a more rewarding
life. What about you? To stay the course you'll need to be moving
towards something you actually want! After all, part of your journey
is discovering your real why...

2) Know Your "Why?"
True, deciding what you want is your first step, and yet it's only
part of the solution! Therefore, if you really want to set, keep, and
ultimately achieve every worthwhile goal, you'll need to become clear
on why you want what you want. The best part is you'll know when
you've found your "Why" because from that moment on you will do
whatever it takes!

3) Follow A Proven Plan
You either have a proven plan (system or daily method of operation)
you follow, or you don't. If you do, continue moving forward. If you
don't, find someone who has already achieved what you want. Find out
what they did. Do that. And then continue until you achieve the same
result they've already proven was possible. Because it's easier to
keep going when you get results—and it's easier to get results when
you follow a proven plan.

4) Commit Yourself Publicly
After you've decided what you want, discovered why that is important
to you, and are diligently following a proven plan to achieve it,
you're ready for step four: public commitment! Decide in writing that
you will be here, still actively involved, a year from now! On 3" x 5"
cards write out what you want (your goal), followed by a sentence or
two explaining your desire to have this (your "Why?"), and then
include the steps you're taking (your proven plan) to accomplish it...
Give these hand-written cards to 10 people you know, like, and trust,
and would not want to disappoint. Believe me, if you'll do this, you
will follow through.

5) Get Better Every Day
Leaders understand that wherever they are, and wherever they're going,
the journey will be easier if they incorporate a daily personal
development program. So what should yours include? Books, CDs, and
classes. Because when you get better "it" gets easier...

Use this information—all five steps—to guide you and you will be well
on your way to keeping your word and achieving all your dreams. And
that's the real power of commitment!

Top 10 Learnings from Anthony Robbins

2008-10-30T05:32:00.001-07:00

Tony Robbins has been an inspiration for millions. Love him and his philosophy or not, it is undeniable that he has had a positive impact on millions of people.

Here are the top 10 lessons that I learned from Tony Robbins Teachings:

1) By altering your body's physiology, you can achieve an immediate change of your emotional state. The mind will follow whatever state your phsyical body is in and not vice-versa.

2) Ask specific questions of yourself (in your self-talk) to direct and control your attention to the various aspects of the human experience. The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of the questions you ask of yourself.

3) Get leverage to create personal change by associating an old behavior with massive pain and the desired new behavior with massive pleasure. Tony is a big believer in the pain/pleasure principles of life and this applies in business as well.

4) When you get stuck, interupt your limiting pattern by doing something totally unexpected.

5) You can condition your behavior by visualizing it over and over again. This is not exactly unique to Tony Robbins, but he does reinforce this message in all of his products.

6) Goal-setting strategy: Know your end outcome; Take massive intelligent action; Have sensory-acuity to notice if you are getting the results you desire and if not; change your approach; and change *until* you get your end outcome.

7) Create a "Compelling future" by vividly imagining your end result to generate enthusiasm and power within yourself. The past does not equal the future. Find beliefs that support your goals and desires.

8) Youth is Power! This is one of Tony's beliefs. Even if you don't have fancy degrees, your youth can still mean power, flexibility and opportunity for your life.

9) Principles of CANI! CANI stands for Constant And Never-ending Improvement. It's a basic tenet of Tony Robbins.

10) NLP can be useful. NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming and there are many NLP undertones in Tony's basic tenets. He went on to morph NLP into his own technology called "NAC" (Neuro Associative Conditioning) .

The seven ways to sniff out if your partner is true to you.

2008-10-30T05:30:00.000-07:00

The seven ways to sniff out if your partner is true to you.

Washington, Oct 25 (ANI):

Not sure if your partner is true to you?

Well, then here are a few signs

that may help sniff out whether he/she is lying or not.

Here are seven ways to identify a liar, reports FoxNews.

1. Consider the person's recall:

Liars never forget what they have to say ,

but they may stumble when telling a tale by making contradicting statements. They're also eager to change the subject.

2. Observe the person's overall body language:

Liars can look ill at ease, fiddling with their hair, stroking their throat, or rubbing their eyes. With their body often turned away from you,

you may notice hand or leg fidgeting. Liars also have trouble swallowing and may shake their heads after a point has been made.

When the subject finally gets changed, they appear happier and more comfortable, maybe laughing nervously.

3.Take notice of any defensiveness:

Liars will often take offence to any indication that they're under suspicion. They're likely to throw any accusations you throw at them back at you.

They will also talk too much,

feeling the need to over-explain themselves.

4. Home in on facial expressions:

Liars fail to control their micro-expressions.

While fibbing, you may notice nervous twitching.

Their hand may be covering or touching their face.

People also tend to touch the mouth when feeling guilty or anxious.

They're particularly good with fake smiles.

5. Don't overlook the Pinocchio reaction:

When a human tells a lie, extra blood gets pumped through the body

and the nose swells by a fraction of millimeter.

Liars may subsequently touch the tip of their nose unconsciously.

6. Concentrate on the eyes:

A liar has a troubled brow and downcast or darting eyes.

They have trouble directly engaging your gaze.

They also give you eye-accessing clues.

If the person is telling you the truth, he'll look up and to the left since that's the side of the brain we use for recalling information.

If she's lying, she'll look up and to the right,

which is the creative side of the brain, because she's mentally constructing something that hasn't happened.

7. Note the person's voice:

The higher the stakes are, the more the liar has a fear of getting caught.

With this, the liar has a harder time controlling his body language or her voice. The pitch or rate of the speech may change,

with the individual giving a lot of "umms" and "ahhs."

Often, a liar will appear stilted and monotone.

Answers may seem rehearsed.

The Secrets... and The Power.....

2008-10-29T06:08:00.001-07:00

* The First Secret: The power of Love.
Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and others. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help recognize him or her when you meet.

* The Second Secret: The power of Respect.
You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect ask yourself,
"What do I respect about myself? " To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself, "What do I respect about them?"

* The Third Secret: The power of Giving.
If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself, freely and
unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of you can take.

* The Fourth Secret: The power of Friendship.
To find true love you must first find a true friend. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are not what they look like. Friendship is the
soil through which love's seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

* The Fifth Secret: The power of Touch.
Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and
makes us more receptive to love.

* The Sixth Secret: The power of Letting go.
If you love something, let it be free. Even in a loving relationship, people need their space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive
and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions.

* The Seventh Secret: The power of Communication.
To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know; that you love and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say, "I love you." Never let an opportunity pass to praise and acknowledge someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word ... it could be the last time you see them.

* The Eighth Secret: The power of Commitment.
If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile
relationship from a strong, loving one.

* The Ninth Secret: The power of Passion.

Passion ignites love and keeps it alive.. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone. It comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. The essence of love and happiness are the same, all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

* The Tenth Secret: The power of Trust.
You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. Trust is essential in
all loving relationships. Trust yourself, trust others and trust the world. It is the foundation for LOVE.

Never save something for that Special Day

2008-10-27T10:40:00.001-07:00

Please do read this ... do not be too busy Earning a Living and in the process Forget to Live. Here is a hair raising story which shows the importance of Time Management and understanding what Life and Priorities are all about.

Trust you will enjoy the read and start Living each day.. each moment...!!!

A friend of mine opened his wife's saree drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package:

"This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package." He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.

"She got this the first time we went to New York, 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on. Was saving it for a special occasion.
Well, I guess this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothings he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said:

"Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion".

I still think those words changed my life.

Now I read more and clean less.

I sit on the porch without worrying about anything.

I spend more time with my family, and less at work.

I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through.

I no longer keep anything.

I use crystal glasses every day.

I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like it.

I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to.

The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary.

If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now.

I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends.

She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels.

I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favourite food.

It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come.

I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet, letters... letters that i wanted to write "One of this days".

I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brothers and sons, not times enough at least, how much I love them.

Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives.

And, on each morning, I say to myself that this could be a special day.

Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.

If you got this, it's because someone cares for you and because, probably, there's someone you care about.

If you're too busy to send this out to other people and you say to yourself that you will send it "One of these days", remember that

"One day" is far away... or might never come...

Live everyday .. every moment as if it is your last day... last moment....!!!!

Keep the Spark..Chetan Bhagat

2008-10-27T10:39:00.001-07:00

Keep the Spark

Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program 2008

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp’s flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.

To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn’t any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement.

But it isn’t the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won’t be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday?

They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature’s design. Are you? Goals will help you do that.

I must add, don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school. Where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark - don’t take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don’t be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It’s ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

I’ve told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don’t go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you.

But it’s life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that’s where you want to be.

Disappointment’s cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don’t know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release.

Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts , having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you.

In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty darn lucky by Indian standards. Let’s be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don’t. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don’t get literary praise. It’s ok. I don’t look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It’s ok. Don’t let unfairness kill your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I’ve told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, you eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.

Thank You.

40 Tips for a Better Life

2008-10-27T10:38:00.003-07:00

40 Tips for a Better Life

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk,
smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. Go to bed earlier and get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following:
'Today, my primary purpose is to __________.'

5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did
last year.

7. Make time to practice meditation, and prayer.
They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under
the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat
less food that is manufactured or packaged in factories.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries,
wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and
let new energy flow into your life.

14. Don't waste your energy on gossip, issues of the past,
negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead
invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear
and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you
learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner
like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE
BLUES away.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You won't win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea
what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words:
'In five years, will this matter?'

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your
business.

28. Remember, God heals everything.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often. Or email them to death!

37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following:
I am thankful for __________.
Today I accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. You only have one ride through life so
make the most of every moment, every single day.

40. Please share this with those you care about.

May your troubles be less,
May your blessings be more,
May nothing but happiness come through your door!

Travelling Through Life

2008-10-27T10:38:00.001-07:00

Here are Tips from Dr. John C. Maxwell, recognized Leadership expert, where he gave 10 solid tips for traveling through life.

Traveling Through Life – Dr.John C. Maxwell

Tip #1: Travel Light. - You can always tell the difference between an experienced traveler and a new one… by the size of their luggage. John mentioned that too many people travel through life with a lot of emotional baggage, which they’ve not yet learned to let go.

Traveling light is about finding your priorities… carrying only the essential stuff… Oh yes… and asking for forgiveness along the way.

Tip #2: Take someone with you - Life is about relationships. Isn’t it awfully lonely to travel through life alone?

Maybe you’ve been hurt before, but that doesn’t mean that you should close your heart. It only means that you know the characteristics you don’t want in a partner/friend.

Let time heal your heart and then find someone to travel through life with.

Tip #3: Follow The Road Map - Have a game plan. If you do not know where you are going, then how can you hope to get there?

It is important to know where you are (A) by doing self-reflection everyday and where you want to go (B) by setting goals… but do not succumb to “destination disease”. Life is not only about reaching B. Life HAPPENS between A and B! Enjoy the journey…

Tip #4: Take The High Road -”Those who are instruments of grace to others become recipients of grace to themselves”.

John talks about the necessity of having a life stance - your overall frame of reference - your attitude, assumptions and expectations of yourself, others around you and life.

Taking the high road means that you do not keep score. You learn to forgive others and do your best to help the people around you.

Tip #5: Stop And Ask For Directions -Most people are too stubborn or proud to do that. They would rather go around in circles than stop to ask someone for directions.

Remember that no matter the direction you are heading, it’s very likely that someone else has already been there and done that. Be prepared to ask for advice… and shortcut your learning curve.

Tip #6: Make A U-Turn When Needed -”Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.” You can’t turn back time when you have made a mistake… but you can change directions and make a U-turn before it’s too late.

Sometimes, we may find ourselves headed into a dead end… the sooner we realize we have to make a change and do it, the more likely we will find ourselves back on a safe route.

Remember… not changing when you have to may lead to death!

Tip #7: Appreciate The Detours - Life is not a smooth one way street. Along the way, you will meet obstacles and challenges. Appreciate and learn to take the detours.

I love the way John reframed “Problems”. He said that problems are…

Predictors

Reminders

Opportunities

Blessings

Lessons

Everywhere

Messages

Solvable

Could you see how that can be really empowering?

Tip #8: Take Pictures - Create Memories.

John suggests that you should….

Work like you don’t need the money

Dance like no one is watching

Sing like no one is listening

Love like you’ve never been hurt

Live like it’s heaven on earth

How beautiful is that?

Tip #9: Travel The Extra Mile - And then some…Who knows what you would find in that extra mile? Another adventure… A beautiful sight… A lovely encounter… An enchanting lover…

Go the extra mile… it may be worth the whole journey.

Tip #10: Stop To Smell The Roses - Remember not to rush though life… Take some time out to appreciate its beauty… Enjoy the butterflies’ dance… and last but not least, be grateful… for everyone and everything in your life.

Words of Wisdom

2008-10-27T10:37:00.001-07:00

Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully
Memorize your favorite poem
Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want
When you say, "I love you", mean it
When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye
Be engaged at least six months before you get married
Believe in love at first sight
Never laugh at anyone's dreams
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely
In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling
Don't judge people by their relatives. "NO KIDDING"
Talk slow but think quick
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk
Call your mom
Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze
When you lose, don't lose the lesson
Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, his/her conversational skills
will be as important as any other
Spend some time alone
Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer
Read more books and watch less TV
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time
Trust in God but lock your car
A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home
In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don't bring up the past
Read between the lines
Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality
Be gentle with the earth
Pray. There's immeasurable power in it
Never interrupt when you are being flattered
Mind your own business
Don't trust a man/woman who doesn't close his/her eyes when you kiss them
Once a year, go someplace you've never been before
If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck
Learn the rules then break some
Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it
Remember that your character is your destiny
Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon

Finding Answers Within: You Have All the Answers

2008-10-22T17:21:00.001-07:00

Many of us seek the answers to life’s questions by looking outside of ourselves and trying to glean advice from the people around us. But as each of us is unique, with our own personal histories, our own sense of right and wrong, and our own way of experiencing the world that defines our realities, looking to others for our answers is only partially helpful. The answers to our personal questions can be most often found by looking within. When you realize that you always have access to the part of you that always knows what you need and is meant to act as your inner compass, you can stop searching outside of yourself. If you can learn to hear, trust, and embrace the wisdom that lives within you, you will be able to confidently navigate your life.

Trusting your inner wisdom may be awkward at first, particularly if you grew up around people who taught you to look to others for answers. We each have exclusive access to our inner knowing. All we have to do is remember how to listen. Remember to be patient as you relearn how to hear, receive, and follow your own guidance. If you are unsure about whether following your inner wisdom will prove reliable, you may want to think of a time when you did trust your own knowing and everything worked out. Recall how the answers came to you, how they felt in your body as you considered them, and what happened when you acted upon this guidance. Now, recall a time when you didn’t trust yourself and the results didn’t work out as you had hoped. Trusting your own guidance can help you avoid going against what you instinctively know is right for you.

When you second guess yourself and go against what you know to be your truth, you can easily go off course because you are no longer following your inner compass. By looking inside yourself for the answers to your life’s questions, you are consulting your best guide. Only you can know the how’s and why’s of your life. The answers that you seek can be found when you start answering your own questions.

Tips for Taming Your Tongue

2008-10-22T08:53:00.001-07:00

Your language might offend some people, but the tone and attitude behind your words do far greater damage to all of your relationships.

Even if your friends and associates commonly use cuss words, you will be perceived as more mature, intelligent, articulate, polite, considerate and pleasant if you control your language and the emotions that typically prompt expletives. You can choose to have character and class, or be considered rude, crude and crass.

Cursing is sometimes humorous, but sometimes abusive. It can help vent anger, or provoke it. It can relieve stress, or cause it. It can be clever and flirtatious, or sexist and intimidating. Consequently, be aware of when and where you swear. Control it, tame it, time it. Or, to be on the safe side, stop using it altogether.

Recognize that swearing does damage.

You probably swear because it is easy, fun, candid, emphatic, expressive, breaks rules, and somehow partially reduces anger and pain. But the negatives outweigh the positives. You really don't win an argument by swearing. You don't prove that you are smart or articulate. You don't earn respect or admiration. You don't motivate, you intimidate. Swearing doesn't get you hired, promoted, or romantically connected.

Start by eliminating casual swearing.

Pretend that your sweet little grandmother or your young daughter is always next to you. Use inflections for emphasis instead of offensive adjectives. Be more descriptive instead of using the "s" word to describe everything from objects, work and the weather to the way you feel, the way someone looks, and the way something smells.

Think positively.

Look to the bright side. Develop a "can do" attitude. Worry only to the point that motivates you to prepare for the problem, then hope for the best. A positive mental attitude not only eliminates lots of swearing, it brings you contentment and brightens your personality.

Practice being patient.

When you are stuck in line or in traffic, ask yourself if a few more minutes matters. Be honest -- does it really matter? If so, and you have no control of the situation, plan the rest of your day or do the thinking that you say you never have time to do. Talk to someone, even a stranger in line with you.

Cope, don't cuss.

We live in an imperfect world, yet our expectations continually increase. Each day can be filled with aggravations, delays, disappointments and frustrations. The fact is, we have to deal with them anyway. So stop cussing and learn to cope. Consider even the smallest annoyance a challenge, and feel proud of yourself for taking care of it cheerfully and efficiently.

Stop complaining.

Before you start griping or whining about something, remind yourself of a very important reality: no one wants to hear it! Why would they? Avoid complaining about matters that you and the people with you have no control over. For all other complaints, try to offer a rational solution. Others will admire your common sense, wisdom and calm approach to the problem.

Use alternative words.

English is a colorful language, but chronic cursers repeatedly use the same, unimaginative words that have been around for centuries. Take the time to develop your own list of alternatives to the nasty words you now use, relying on your own intelligence, a thesaurus, good books, and even some of the more clever TV shows. Select a few powerful or even funny words, and get in the habit of substituting them for swear words. For example, instead of B.S., choices range from lie, fabrication, nonsense and exaggeration to bunk, baloney, drivel, malarkey, hokum, hogwash and balderdash. They might not give you satisfaction at first, but they will eventually.

Make your point politely.

Some substitute words can be just as offensive if your tone is abrasive or you insult someone. Think of the response to what you are about to say, and decide if you need to reword your statement to be more effective. For example, if someone suggests that you are doing something incorrectly, your response can range from "Who gives a flying f___?" to "I don't care," to "It really doesn't matter," or "I think my way is faster." The first reply is defensive, defiant, belligerent, and reflects a terrible attitude. The last reply is a justification that the other person might appreciate. Take the time to make your point in a mature and convincing manner.

Think of what you should have said.

It is easy to blurt out a swear word at an inappropriate time, or to bark out a tactless or tasteless remark before you have a chance to consider the impact. Think of what you could have said. After you shout an expletive, simply say the tamer word you wished you had said. If you make a statement that you later realize was negative, confrontational or rude, think of how you could have phrased the statement. Over time, these exercises will train you to think and act differently.

Work at it.

Breaking the swearing habit might prove to be no easier that losing weight, giving up cigarettes, or correcting any other habit. It takes practice, support from others, and a true desire to be a better person - not only by controlling your language, but the emotions that prompt you to swear. Here are a few exercises to condition yourself:

Think in clean language, and switch negative thoughts into positive solutions.
When you are on your way to a situation you know will test your temper and your tongue, plan ahead what you will say and how you will say it.
Tell your family or friends what you are doing, and you will be more cautious around them.
Determine when and why you swear the most, and develop your own tricks for changing your behavior.

Chanakya Quotes

2008-10-22T08:50:00.001-07:00

A man is great by deeds, not by birth.

A person should not be too honest. Just as straight trees are chopped-down first, honest people are taken advantage of first.

Variant: A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first.

A rich man has many friends.

A woman is four times as shy, six times as brave and eight times as lusty as a man.

An egoist can be won over by being respected, a crazy person can be won over by allowing him to behave in an insane manner and a wise person can be won over by truth.

As centesimal droppings will fill a pot so also are knowledge, virtue and wealth gradually obtained.

As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it.

Avoid him who talks sweetly before you but tries to ruin you behind your back, for he is like a pitcher of poison with milk on top.

Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it? What the results might be? And Will I be successful? Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead.

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person.

Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth.

Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous.

God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple.

He who befriends a man whose conduct is vicious, whose vision impure, and who is notoriously crooked, is rapidly ruined.

If you get to learn something even from the worst of creatures, don't hesitate.

In a state where the ruler lives like a common man, the citizens live like kings do. And in the state where the ruler lives like a king, the citizens live like beggars do.

Jealousy is another name for failure.

Never go on a long journey alone.

Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such friendships will never give you any happiness.

Once you start working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest.

One who is in search of knowledge should give up the search of pleasure and the one who is in search of pleasure should give up the search of knowledge.

The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. It will destroy you.

The four greatest enemies of a man are - the father who has taken a loan, the characterless mother, the beautiful but promiscuous wife and the stupid child.

The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all directions.

The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman.

There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth.

Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends.

Whores don't live in company of poor men, birds don't build nests on a tree that doesn't bear fruits and citizens never support a weak administration.

Wise men should never go into a country where there are no means of earning one's livelihood, where the people have no dread of anybody, have no sense of shame, no intelligence, or a charitable disposition.

Dealing With Failure

2008-10-22T08:49:00.000-07:00

All of us want to be successful. All of us have big dreams. We all try very hard to achieve them. But on our way to achieving those dreams, if we face a failure, we just break down totally. Sometimes we don't even feel like trying the same job again just because of the failure we faced in the previous attempt. And if we get up and start doing it, we are not able to put our 100% in it. Consciously or unconsciously, the fear of failure affects our performance. Students put so much effort in studying for exams, and if they end up getting a B or C, then they hardly look forward to next semester. If we stop doing everything just because of the fear of failing, then the world will come to an end. Then, what exactly should we do to overcome it? Let's take some moments and see if we are able to conquer the failure or if failure would be able to conquer us

Changing Point of View

First of all, we have to stop looking at failure in a negative way. People tend to link failure with weakness, stupidity, and dumbness. I totally disagree with that. If you are doing something, and you think you are just perfect in it that means something seriously is going wrong with it. When a person thinks he is perfect, he has closed all doors for any growth or improvement. Whenever there is imperfection, there are million chances of improvement. A person keeps on growing, but a so called 'perfect person' just stops growing. He is in this illusion of being perfect which hinders his growth forever. Look at failure as another step toward success. Make yourself positive enough to see the good sides of failure.

Don't Label Yourself a 'Failure'

If you fail in something, don't think of yourself as a failure. It just means that you haven't succeeded in doing the work you were doing. It means that you are only some steps away from achieving your goal. By labeling yourself as a failure you close the door for all possibilities of achieving success. A beautiful example is mentioned below.

There was a man who

failed in business at the age of 21
was defeated in a legislative race at the age of 22
failed again in business at 24
over come the death of his girlfriend at 26
had a nervous breakdown at 27
lost a congressional race at age of 34
lost a senatorial race at age 45
failed to become Vice President at the age 47
lost a senatorial race at 49

and was elected as the President of the United States at the age of 52! He was none other than Abraham Lincoln. He could have labeled himself a failure and ruin his whole life. Instead, he decided to ignore failure and fight against all odds.

Don't Behave Like a Machine

Always remember that only highly intelligent people face big failures. They are the ones who cannot get things done in a right manner in first attempt. The reason for this is very simple. A person who follows orders and fulfills them right away, without thinking, is like a machine. There is no difference between that person and a machine. You tell him something and he will do it. However, a successful person is very different. If you tell him to do something in a certain way, he will ask you why he can't do it in other way. He will not follow your order blindly. He always say, "Why not the other way?" He always thinks different from crowd and that's where he succeeds.

An average student will follow what his professor has to say. He will learn the whole book and his professor's lecture word to word. But a genius-minded student would ask the professor so many questions about the whys and the wherefores. His questions will be beyond the coursework.

That average student might end up getting a better grade than that genius student. But in long term, it will be that genius student whose name will be remembered for a long time. However, that average student remains average forever his life. So, stop thinking that you are a weak or dumb student if you end up getting a low grade in spite of asking so many questions in every class. Rather be proud of yourself that your mind is much more polished than other students in the class.

See What You Have Learned

When you fail to do something, look back and see how much you have learned. You will be surprised to see that you have learned so much that you would not have learnt if you succeeded in the first attempt. Thomas Edison failed approximately 10,000 times while he was practicing on the light bulb! When people asked him to quit this project, his reply was, "I have gotten lots of results! If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is often a step forward...."
If you have this kind of attitude, there is no way why you won't be successful. Every failure teaches you something. You just have to see what mistakes you made and learn from them. The more mistakes you make, the smarter you will become. Just don't make the same mistake twice because that will make you stupid. Learn from your first mistake and don't repeat it.

Never Give Up

No matter how people react to your failure, you should never ever give up. If you start giving up after your every failure, you will see that you will accomplish literally nothing in life. You will start doing something and will quit it forever after you fail in it. In this way, your skills will never be polished. Your dreams will never see the light of day.

Every success story is also a story of a great failure. The only difference is that the successful people never gave up. Instead, they bounced back with a much more energy and enthusiasm every time they failed. There was a partially deaf child who was expelled from school because his teachers considered him too stupid to learn. His mother decided to teach him and show everyone how intelligent her son is. Her son was none other than the great Thomas Edison. Edison had only three years of formal schooling.

Be Patient

Don't get discouraged if it is taking a little longer than you expected. The more time it will take the better performance it will give. Don't think that you will never achieve your goal or you will never get you want. Failure might cause your goals a little delay but it doesn't mean that you will never achieve them. It simply means that it will take just little longer. When Beethoven was young, everybody used to tell him that he has no talent for music. He knew that he will be the best composer after a considerable time. Today everyone knows that he gave the world some of the best music.

We need to update our dictionaries. We have to remove some of the words and change the meaning of some of them. 'Failure' is one of those words whose meaning needs to be changed. Today onwards, see failure as a chance to bounce back with full of energy. Look at failure as an opportunity to improve more and polish your skills. View your failure as a road to success. I am sure if you follow the above suggestions sincerely, then you will be one of those rare people who make it big no matter what circumstances are. All the best!

Your words & your dreams

2008-10-22T08:14:00.001-07:00

Your words & your dreams

Your words, your dreams, and your thoughts have power to create conditions in your life.

What you speak about, you can bring about!
If you keep saying you can't stand your job, you might lose your job.
If you keep saying you can't stand your body, your body can become sick.
If you keep saying you can't stand your car, your car could be stolen or just stop operating.
If you keep saying you're broke, guess what? You'll always be broke.
If you keep saying you can't trust a man or trust a woman, you will
always find someone in your life to hurt and betray you.
If you keep saying you can't find a job, you will remain unemployed.
If you keep saying you can't find someone to love you or believe in
you, your very thought will attract more experiences to confirm your beliefs.
If you keep talking about a divorce or break up in a relationship, then you might end up with it.

Turn your thoughts and conversations around to be more positive and power packed with faith , hope , love and action . Don't be afraid to believe that you can have what you want and deserve.

Watch your THOUGHTS, they become WORDS.
Watch your WORDS, they become ACTIONS.
Watch your ACTIONS, they become HABITS.
Watch your HABITS, they become CHARACTER.
Watch your CHARACTER, for it becomes your DESTINY.
The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settle for..

Thought I would share this with you -
In the search for ME, I discovered TRUTH.
In the search for TRUTH, I discovered LOVE.
In the search for LOVE, I discovered GOD.
And in GOD, I have found EVERYTHING.

Watch how your circumstances and situations begin to change when you change the way you speak.

"Life is like melted butter. . .once things cool down, it can be reshaped!" Be blessed.

Evolution Of The Soul: Life Lessons Through Reincarnation

2008-10-22T08:07:00.000-07:00

You meet someone for the first time and feel as if you know them already. You’re in a town that you’ve never been to before, yet you recognize streets and buildings. You start playing a new sport and amaze everyone, including yourself, at your natural abilities and intuitive knowing of the rules. We often describe such experiences as déjà vu: the experience or feeling that a new situation has happened to us before. Then again, the possibility does exist that we have actually lived these experiences in the past or, rather, in another lifetime.

Many spiritual practices believe that reincarnation is real: Our souls return to this earth over a series of lifetimes to evolve, learn, grow, transform, and become more spiritually attuned through the course of each life. When we reincarnate, it is believed that we tend to cycle through our different lives with many of the same people. Often these traveling “soul” companions are the ones we enter into relationships with; we work through our unresolved issues together so that we may heal. When we struggle or keep encountering blocks that keep us from reaching our goals, there may be a specific lesson that we are supposed to learn in this lifetime. Being naturally blessed with a musical talent or another gift can be a special ability that you worked hard to develop in a past life. You may even have lived before as another gender or as part of a different social or economic class. Each lifetime brings with it specific lessons that are necessary for our spiritual evolution.

Past life recall can give us valuable insights into our past, present, and future lives. The knowledge of how we lived before can help us overcome present obstacles, understand phobias, and resolve relationship issues. There are workshops you can take to learn about past lives, and past life regression therapists can guide you on your journey backward in time. You can learn to visit your past lives through your dreams, meditation, and trance work. It is even possible to see full scenes of a former lifetime flash before you in your mind’s eye as if you were watching a movie. While looking back at your past lives can be exciting and enlightening, it is important to remember that the answers you are seeking to this life can only truly be found by living this one. Look to your past to see where you’ve been, but remember that the life that matters most is the one that you are living now.

Sharpen Your AXE

2008-10-21T09:58:00.001-07:00

A young man who graduated yesterday and stops learning today will become uneducated tomorrow.

John, a woodcutter, worked for a Company for five years but never got a raise. The Company hired Bill and within a year he got a promotion. This caused resentment in John and he went to his Boss to talk about it. The Boss said, "You are still cutting the same number of trees you were cutting five years ago. We are a result-oriented company and would be happy to give you a raise if your productivity goes up."

John went back started hitting harder and putting in longer hours but he still wasn't able to cut more trees. He went back to his Boss and told him his dilemma. The Boss asked John to go and talk to Bill. "Maybe there is something Bill knows that you and I don't."

John asked Bill how he managed to cut more trees. Bill answered, "After every tree I cut, I take a break for two minutes and 'sharpen my axe'. When was the last time you sharpened your axe?"

This question hit like a bullet and John got his answer.

"When was the last time you sharpened your axe?" If you want to progress in life, you cannot rest on your past laurels. You must continuously sharpen your axe of knowledge, skill and expertise, in whatever field of activity you may be!

By sharpening your axe appropriately, I wish you to attain your goals.

dealing with the burdens of life

2008-10-21T09:09:00.001-07:00

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
* A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Awakening to Change: Being Aware is the First Step

2008-10-21T09:05:00.001-07:00

Life is a journey comprised of many steps on our personal path that takes us down a winding road of constant evolution. And each day, we are provided with a myriad of opportunities that can allow us to transform into our next best selves. One moment we are presented with an opportunity to react differently when yet another someone in our life rubs us the wrong way; on another day we may find ourselves wanting to walk away from a particular circumstance but are not sure if we can. Eventually, we may find ourselves stuck in a rut that we can never seem to get out of. We may even make the same choices over and over again because we don’t know how to choose otherwise. Rather than moving us forward, our personal paths may take us in a seemingly never-ending circle where our actions and choices lead us nowhere but to where we’ve already been. It is during these moments that awareness can be the first step to change.

Awareness is when we are able to realize what we are doing. We observe ourselves, noticing our reactions, actions, and choices as if we were a detached viewer. Awareness is the first step to change because we can’t make a change unless we are aware that one needs to be made in the first place. We can then begin understanding why we are doing what we are doing. Afterward, it becomes difficult not to change because we are no longer asleep to the truth behind our behaviors. We also begin to realize that, just as much as we are the root source behind the causes for our behaviors, we are also the originator for any changes that we want to happen.

There is a freedom that comes with awareness. Rather than thinking that we are stuck in a repetitive cycle where there is no escape, we begin to see that we very much play a hand in creating our lives. Whether we are aware of them or not, our behaviors and choices are always ours to make. Our past and our present no longer have to dictate our future when we choose to be aware. We are then free to move beyond our old limits, make new choices, and take new actions. With awareness, our paths can’t help but wind us forward in our lives while paving the way for new experiences and new ways of being. It is through awareness that we can continue to consciously evolve.

The Sound of the Human Voice: Hidden Treasures in the Air

2008-10-20T08:55:00.001-07:00

Whether listening to the low muted murmur of a confidential whisper or the proud declarative boom coming from behind a mic on the podium, there are few sounds more evocative than the human voice. Each human being’s voice has a unique tone that is all its own. Carrying their own signature traits and idiosyncrasies, no two voices are alike.

Yet so often, we neglect to hear these resonances under which our spoken words are floated over. A lover’s voice vibrating with tenderness can feel like a warm caress touching the body; words spoken over an angry voice can seem like bullets hitting one’s auric field; and a voice tinged with laughter can’t help but fill us with good feelings. And then there are the voices of other people we encounter. The radio announcer’s soothing baritone that accompanies us during a long ride, the cheerful chatter of children playing on the street, and the dulcet hum of a yogi in mid-mantra are just a few of the voices we may be blessed to hear on any given day. Taken together, they’re like a wondrous symphony of mellifluous notes.

Every time we use our voices, we send our energetic imprint out into the universe and to the people around us. And, like the words that we use when we speak to people, our voices can communicate what we are feeling, what we desire, and what we really mean. There is no hiding our truth that can be felt through the sound of our voices. Timidity, desire, pain, and love can all be expressed and felt through the human voice. Our voices also have the power to heal, to hurt, to love, and to transform others. When we are aware of the impact our voices can have, we can consciously choose what we are expressing. Remember that what you communicate when you speak goes beyond words. Take responsibility for the power your voice has to impact the space and the people around you, and let your voice be a sound that creates harmony and compassion in the universe.

A Sense of Closure: Cutting Cords

2008-10-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

In every relationship, people are constantly exchanging energy that can become a chord connecting two people. This energetic cord forms just below the breastbone and can remain long after a relationship has ended. This unbroken cord may leave an open channel between you and another person, through which emotions and energy can continue to flow. If you are unaware that the chord exists, it is easy to feel the other person’s emotions and mistakenly think that they are yours. Besides the fact that this can limit the amount of closure you can experience in a relationship, letting this cord remain intact can leave you with a continued sense of sadness while creating feelings of lethargy as your own energy is sapped from you. Cutting the cord can help you separate yourself from old baggage, unnecessary attachments, and release you from connections that are no longer serving you.

Finding and cutting unwanted cords is a simple, gentle process that is best done alone and when you are relaxed. It is important that you are strong in your intention to release the chord between you and someone else. To begin, breathe deeply and perform a simple centering meditation. When you are ready, visualize or sense the chords that are connecting you to other people. Run your fingers through the cords to separate them until you find the cord you wish to sever. There is no need to worry, because the chord you need to sever will feel just right. When you have found it, determine where the cut should be made and then visualize the cord being cleanly cut. If you need assistance, Archangel Michael can be called upon to help you with his sword. Afterwards, if you feel that cutting the chord has left spaces in your energy field, then visualize those spaces being filled with healing sunlight.

There may be times where cutting a cord can help free a relative or loved one to reach new stages of growth. You’re not severing a relationship, but you are severing the chords that are no longer serving you both. At other times, a cord may simply refuse to be cut because it is still serving a higher purpose. It is also important to remember that cutting a cord with someone is not a replacement for doing your emotional work with people. It can, however, be an enactment of that work upon its completion. In any case, cutting a relationship cord should always be viewed as a positive and nurturing act. By cutting the cords that no longer need to be there, you are setting yourself and others free from the ties that bind.

Sharing Your Genius: Your Special Gift

2008-10-15T19:02:00.001-07:00

Each of us is born with a specific genius that was bestowed upon us so we can do our part to make this world a better place. All of us have a role that we’re uniquely suited for. Imagine our planet without trees, oceans, or clouds. In this same way, when one of us doesn’t develop or use our special gift, a cosmic void takes place.

This unique talent or ability may be hidden from your own sight like a golden treasure buried under shifting sands. Often, we spend so much time dazzled by the talents of others that we can overlook our own gifts. It may even be that our unique ability is something we view negatively. Perhaps we find it difficult concentrating on any one subject for long; meanwhile, others are thrilled by our ability to weave various ideas throughout our conversations. Or, you might think of yourself as “frivolous,” when it’s likely your charming approach to life casts a light of inspiration that others can’t help but follow. It’s important for all of us to try to find our special gift and discover how we can best express it. Ask others to name what they think is your most overlooked talent or character trait. Their answers may change your life.

Explore these riches that are yours to express, and you may find yourself helping others discover and develop their own blessings. Acknowledge and appreciate the gifts you see in those around you. Tell your neighbor that loves to garden how much her green thumb enlivens the whole block. Thank your coworker for always greeting your days together with a smile. Tell your close friends that their ability to listen makes your world a better place. Our unique gifts are like golden rays of expression that can encircle the world with light.

Blue Skies: The Sky Is Blue Even on a Cloudy Day

2008-10-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

When we refer to a “beautiful day,” we are often describing a day that is sunny, clear, and without a cloud in sight to mar a sky that is a brilliantly perfect blue. We find ourselves bouncing along, light in spirit, free from worries, and enjoying the moment. That is, until the clouds begin to form. The sky may turn grey, and a fog may roll in. Puffs of white take on whimsical, darker shades, and our beautiful day disappears along with the sunshine… or so it seems.

A clear blue sky often inspires in us good cheer, bringing on a lighter, more carefree day. We may find ourselves spending time outdoors, breathing in the fresh air, and basking in the warmth of the sun. Yet should clouds appear to wash the sky with shadows, we may let this change of weather decrease our energy and enthusiasm, pulling us into our own cloudy funk. Darker days are just as much a part of life as are the days graced with sunshine. They show us a different perspective of our world, while helping us appreciate the moments of illumination that inevitably follow. A rainy day with clouds helps to clear the air, washing away stagnation. Still, it’s hard not to feel gloomy or think that the day has been ruined when there are clouds hanging over us. Yet if you can remember that these shades of grey won’t last forever, and that hidden behind the clouds is the blue sky, you will find that the beauty of your day is merely playing a game of peek-a-boo with you. Like the mis! haps and interruptions that occasionally block the brilliance that is our own lives from shining through, clouds eventually clear away so we can open up to a brighter horizon.

The next time you wake up to a cloudy day, remember that these shades of grey in life are there just for the moment. And that no matter how hard the rain falls or how chilly the fog is, the clouds will go away, the sun will break through, and you will be able to see the sky that has always and forever been a beautiful and brilliant blue.

Do Not Forget

2008-10-13T18:41:00.001-07:00

With the work I do, I use mathematics a bit. When I moved, I lost my calculator so I had to purchase a new one. I bought a model that I thought could handle the calculations that I needed to do. This calculator has direct algebra input. This means that one can enter an algebra problem into the calculator as it appears on the page and it immediately gives the answer. I remember when I was in school we did not have these tools. We did have calculators, but not this fancy. We had to write out our answers. I have noticed in places I have worked that many of the people could enter the numbers and get the answer but they really had no idea what the numbers meant or how the answer was derived. In this, it seems that the understanding is being lost.

This is very much like repeating the Lord's Prayer without thinking what it means. Every week at service, we say the Lord's Prayer. Every Thursday at the services I conduct, we say the Lord's Prayer. Every night before we go to sleep, my wife and I say the Lord's Prayer with our son. With saying the Prayer so many times, I work on not just saying the words but instead believing the words and putting my trust in the words. It can get so easy to just go through the motions but never understand what those motions mean. We must not take the Prayer for granted but we must put into action within our life what the prayer means.

Cherishing You: Falling in Love with Yourself

2008-10-13T18:31:00.001-07:00

Many people, in seeking out love, tend to look outward rather than inward. Yet falling in love with yourself can be just as wonderful an experience as falling in love with someone else. While the idea of falling in love with ourselves may be perceived as conceited or selfish, choosing to fall in love with who you are is a powerful act of self-love.

When you fall in love with yourself, you can’t help but experience a wonderful sense of discovery. You begin to look at yourself again through fresh eyes, becoming more attentive to the little details that make you so unique. Once you discover how much there is about you to fall in love with, you can’t help but want to treat yourself as lovingly and respectfully as you would treat anyone who is special to you. You start to give to yourself more because you become more attentive to your own needs and desires.

Choosing to fall in love with yourself is a very personal process that takes time. There is no magic wand you can wave to make this just happen. But there is the magic of your intention and the power of your actions, whether you are taking the time to do the activities you like, speaking to and treating yourself with respect, taking inventory of all your wonderful qualities and accomplishments, or nurturing yourself with plenty of rest and self-care. When you fall in love with yourself, you begin to see yourself more positively, appreciate your unique outlook on life, and treat yourself in a more nurturing way. In loving yourself, you are acknowledging that you are special and deserving of love. Best of all, you are giving yourself one of the greatest gifts you have to give another. You are giving yourself the gift of your love.

Lets have a cup of coffee

2008-10-13T18:21:00.001-07:00

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to hot coffee..

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:

"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. It is, but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups.

Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it." So, don't let the cups drive you... enjoy the coffee instead.

Enjoy Life

7 ways to Identify a Liar

2008-10-13T18:12:00.000-07:00

The seven ways to sniff out if your partner is true to you

Washington, Oct 10 (ANI): Not sure if your partner is true to you? Well, then here are a few signs that may help sniff out whether he/she is lying or not.

Here are seven ways to identify a liar, reports FoxNews.

1. Consider the person's recall: Liars never forget what they have to say but they may stumble when telling a tale by making contradicting statements. They're also eager to change the subject.

2. Observe the person's overall body language: Liars can look ill at ease, fiddling with their hair, stroking their throat, or rubbing their eyes. With their body often turned away from you, you may notice hand or leg fidgeting. Liars also have trouble swallowing and may shake their heads after a point has been made. When the subject finally gets changed, they appear happier and more comfortable, maybe laughing nervously.

3.Take notice of any defensiveness: Liars will often take offence to any indication that they're under suspicion. They're likely to throw any accusations you throw at them back at you. They will also talk too much, feeling the need to over-explain themselves.

4. Home in on facial expressions: Liars fail to control their micro-expressions. While fibbing, you may notice nervous twitching. Their hand may be covering or touching their face. People also tend to touch the mouth when feeling guilty or anxious. They're particularly good with fake smiles.

5. Don't overlook the Pinocchio reaction: When a human tells a lie, extra blood gets pumped through the body and the nose swells by a fraction of millimeter. Liars may subsequently touch the tip of their nose unconsciously.

6. Concentrate on the eyes: A liar has a troubled brow and downcast or darting eyes. They have trouble directly engaging your gaze. They also give you eye-accessing clues. If the person is telling you the truth, he'll look up and to the left since that's the side of the brain we use for recalling information. If she's lying, she'll look up and to the right, which is the creative side of the brain, because she's mentally constructing something that hasn't happened.

7. Note the person's voice: The higher the stakes are, the more the liar has a fear of getting caught. With this, the liar has a harder time controlling his body language or her voice. The pitch or rate of the speech may change, with the individual giving a lot of "umms" and "ahhs." Often, a liar will appear stilted and monotone. Answers may seem rehearsed. (ANI)

Not rich enough????????

2008-10-12T05:58:00.001-07:00

Many people assume they aren't rich because they don't earn enough money. If I only earned a little more, I could save and invest better, they say.

The problem with that theory is they were probably making exactly the same argument before their last several raises. Becoming a millionaire has less to do with how much you make, it's how you treat money in your daily life.

The list of reasons you may not be rich doesn't end at 10. Caring what your neighbors think, not being patient, having bad habits, not having goals, not being prepared, trying to make a quick buck, relying on others to handle your money, investing in things you don't understand, being financially afraid and ignoring your finances.

Here are 10 more possible reasons you aren't rich:

You care what your car looks like: A car is a means of transportation to get from one place to another, but many people don't view it that way. Instead, they consider it a reflection of themselves and spend money every two years or so to impress others instead of driving the car for its entire useful life and investing the money saved.

You feel entitlement: If you believe you deserve to live a certain lifestyle, have certain things and spend a certain amount before you have earned to live that way, you will have to borrow money. That large chunk of debt will keep you from building wealth.

You lack diversification: There is a reason one of the oldest pieces of financial advice is to not keep all your eggs in a single basket. Having a diversified investment portfolio makes it much less likely that wealth will suddenly disappear.

You started too late: The magic of compound interest works best over long periods of time. If you find you're always saying there will be time to save and invest in a couple more years, you'll wake up one day to find retirement is just around the corner and there is still nothing in your retirement account.

You don't do what you enjoy: While your job doesn't necessarily need to be your dream job, you need to enjoy it. If you choose a job you don't like just for the money, you'll likely spend all that extra cash trying to relieve the stress of doing work you hate.

You don't like to learn: You may have assumed that once you graduated from college, there was no need to study or learn. That attitude might be enough to get you your first job or keep you employed, but it will never make you rich. A willingness to learn to improve your career and finances are essential if you want to eventually become wealthy.

You buy things you don't use: Take a look around your house, in the closets, basement, attic and garage and see if there are a lot of things you haven't used in the past year. If there are, chances are that all those things you purchased were wasted money that could have been used to increase your net worth.

You don't understand value: You buy things for any number of reasons besides the value that the purchase brings to you. This is not limited to those who feel the need to buy the most expensive items, but can also apply to those who always purchase the cheapest goods. Rarely are either the best value, and it's only when you learn to purchase good value that you have money left over to invest for your future.

Your house is too big: When you buy a house that is bigger than you can afford or need, you end up spending extra money on longer debt payments, increased taxes, higher upkeep and more things to fill it. Some people will try to argue that the increased value of the house makes it a good investment, but the truth is that unless you are willing to downgrade your living standards, which most people are not, it will never be a liquid asset or money that you can ever use and enjoy.

You fail to take advantage of opportunities: There has probably been more than one occasion where you heard about someone who has made it big and thought to yourself, "I could have thought of that." There are plenty of opportunities if you have the will and determination to keep your eyes open.

How to handle Anger

2008-10-11T03:35:00.001-07:00

Anger

There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he had to hammer a nail in the back fence.

The first day, the boy had driven thirty-seven nails into the fence .. Then it gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy did not loose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy was to pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took the son by the hand and led him to the fence. "You have done well, my son", he said. "But look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one."

Signs of QAYAMAT...DAY OF JUDGEMENT

2008-10-11T03:00:00.000-07:00

*Why is it so hard to tell the truth but yet so easy to tell a lie?

*Why are we so sleepy in mosque but right when the prayer is over, we suddenly wake up?

*Why is it so hard to talk about Allah but yet so easy to talk about nasty stuff ?

*Why is it so boring to look at a Islamic Article but yet so easy to look at a nasty one?

*Why is it so easy to delete a Godly e-mail but yet we forward all of the nasty ones?

*Why are the mosque's getting smaller, but yet the dance clubs are getting larger?

Do you give up?

Think about it ......

Are you going to forward this, or delete it

Just remember-Allah is watching you.

Prayer Wheel, Let's see the devil stop this one! Here's what the

wheel is all about. When you receive this, say a prayer for the

person that sent it to you....

There are no costs, but wonderful rewards.... Let's

continue praying for one another.

As we look at this article we realise how true the

Messenger(P. B.U.H ) was these signs were prophesized
1400 years ago!!!

Take a look.... Now this is scary but soooooooo TRUE!!!!

* Camels will no longer be used as a means of transport;

* People will ride on saddles that aren't saddles (cars?)

* The distance on earth will become short;

* Horses will not be used in wars;

* Muslims will defeat the Byzantines which will end with the conquest of Constantinople( Istanbul )

* The Jews will gather again to live in Bilad Canaan;

* Very tall buildings will be built;

* The disappearance of knowledge and the appearance of ignorance, with much killing;

* Adultery will become widespread, and the drinking of wine will become common;

* The number of men will decrease and the number of women will increase until there are 50 women to be looked after by one man.

* Islam will become worn out like clothes are, until no one will know what fasting, prayer, charity and rituals are;

* Allah will send a disease to fornicators that will have no cure (Aids?);

* People will begin to believe in the stars and reject AL QADAR (THE DIVINE DECREE OF DESTINY);

* Men will pass by people's graves and say: 'Would that I were in his place'; (large amount of sucidal deaths?)

* The Euphrates will uncover a mountain of gold for which people will fight over (the river of Alfurat that lies near Syria );

* Two large groups of people will fight one another, and there will be many casualties; they will both be following the same religion (World War II?);

* Approximately 30 DAJJALS will appear, each one claiming to be the messenger of ALLAH;

* Earthquakes will increase;

* Time will pass quickly;

* Afflictions will appear;

* Killing will increase;

* Wealth will increase;

* Women will be wearing clothes but not wearing clothes

* THE PROPHET (saw) SAID: 'IF MY UMMAH BEARS 15!
TRAITS(QUALITIES) , TRIBULATION WILL FOLLOW IT.' (DAY OF JUDGEMENT) SOMEONE ASKED,'WHAT ARE THEY O MESSENGER OF ALLAH?' HE (saw) SAID:

* When any gain is shared out only among the rich, with no benefit to the poor;

* When a trust becomes a means of making profit ;

* When paying ZAKKAT becomes a burden;

* When voices are raised in the mosque;

* When the leader of a people is the worst of them;

*When people treat a man with respect because what he may do;

* When much wine is drunk; red wind or the earth swallow them, or to be transformed into animals.'

* 'IMRAN IBN HUSAYN SAID: 'THE PROPHET (AS) SAID, 'SOME PEOPLE OF
THIS UMMAH WILL BE SWALLOWED BY THE EARTH, TRANSFORMED INTO
ANIMALS, AND SOME WILL BE BOMBARDED WITH STONES'. ONE OF THE
MUSLIMS ASKED, WHEN WILL THAT BE O MESSENGER Of ALLAH?' HE SAID,
'WHEN SINGERS AND MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS WILL BECOME POPULAR, AND MUCH WINE IS DRUNK.''

*THE GREATER SIGNS OF THE HOUR The Quran will disappear in one night, even from the people's hearts, and no Ayyah will be left on earth. (Some groups of old people will be left who will say: 'We heard of fathers' saying 'LAILLAHA ILLA ALLAH' so we repeat it)

* The appearance of the MAHDI;

* The appearance of the DAJJAL (Anti Christ);

* The appearance of Ya'juj and Ma'juj (biblical Gog and Magog);

* Isa (Jesus) will come during the time of Dajjal;

* The rising of the sun from the west;

* The destruction of the Ka'ba and the recovery of its treasures;
* The smoke.

Now you have two options here:
1- leave this message to sit here. No curse or whatever may happen to you (Insha-Allah)
2- Forward this message to a number of people you know and by the grace of Allah you will be blessed for each person you forward this e-mail to

What Lies Beneath: Why We Lash Out

2008-10-11T02:54:00.001-07:00

Each one of us has experienced situations where we’ve found ourselves lashing out at someone without meaning to. We later berate ourselves for losing control and feel guilty for treating the other person badly. And while it is human nature that our emotions and moods will get the better of us from time to time, we can learn to navigate our feelings and negotiate difficult situations without losing our center.

Often, when we lash out, it is because we are having a difficult time containing the emotions that are coming up inside of us. We may be feeling overwhelmed, afraid, frustrated, stressed out, or angry. Having these feelings boiling up inside of us can be very uncomfortable, and it is natural to want to release them. But when we release our feelings from our body by directing them outward and toward someone else, they inevitably impact the "innocent bystander" to whom we are directing this energy. They not only get the brunt of our anger, frustration, or stress, but also they can actually experience this energy as a physical force hitting their bodies.

When you find yourself in a situation where you are about to lash out at the person in front of you, try to center yourself by breathing slowly and deeply. A few slow inhales and exhales can help dissipate the intensity of your feelings before they escape you. Later, when you find yourself in a more reflective state, sit down for a moment; recall the feelings in your body just before and during your outburst; note where you feel sensations coming up in your body; and ask yourself if they are connected to any core issue or experience from your life. If nothing comes to mind, then revisit the situation again, exaggerating the details of what happened by indulging in outlandish "what if" fantasies. Exaggerating events after the fact can help expose the unconscious subtext behind your heated response. Understanding the motivation behind your reactions can help you avoid lashing out again when a similar situation comes up. In learning to navigate around your emotions, you are gi! ving yourself the tools to feel better the next time your emotions start to boil. In doing so, you will be taking care of yourself by alleviating your own uncomfortable feelings while respecting and protecting those around you.

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